Annoying
by Random Stuff About Stuff
Summary: Based off Alaska Angel's Twenty Ways to Annoy Fire Lord Ozai. Someone decides to attempt all twenty of them. And Ozai isn't happy. At all. NOW COMPLETE!
1. Prologue: Lara

Disclaimer: This was never mine. Avatar, or the ten ways to annoy Fire Lord Ozai. That belongs to a certain hilarious writer named Alaska Angel. I do, however, own Lara.

A/N Thanks to baby names dot com for Lara's name. It means cheerful. Greek, I believe. Does it fit her? After seeing the episode Zuko Alone, which I had not seen when I first wrote this chapter, I have altered the ages of Iroh and Ozai so that Iroh is two years older than his brother, rather than the other way around.

This chapter is slightly boring, but it just there to give you a better idea of who Lara actually is. I think it's short enough that you can survive.

_Prince Ozai of the Fire Nation was fourteen years old and in a bad mood. A _very _bad mood. His older brother Prince Iroh was sixteen, and in a good mood. A _very_ good mood._

_The causes of their moods were the same, although the actually mood was not. Their family was getting larger. Not much larger, like when Iroh had brought home half of the pound. Not _marginally_ larger, either, like when the dust bunnies under Ozai's bed multiplied. No, just larger._

_They were getting a younger sister. _

"_Her name is Lara," the Fire Lady said, smiling. "It means cheerful. Fitting, isn't it?"_

_Looking down at his sister, Iroh had to agree. What he saw was a giggling baby, playing with their father, who looked happier than he ever had before._

_Looking down at his sister, Ozai had to disagree. What _he_ saw was a Fire Nation Princess, who just so happened to be very, very small. _Very_ small, small enough to make even the Fire Lord believe that she was innocent._

_He had looked up some common Fire Nation names in the library. _He_ thought a more appropriate name would have been Loring, which meant 'famous in war'. Fitting, for a Fire Nation Princess. _

_But his mother disagreed, and Lara she was, so Lara she would stay. _

_And, though he didn't know it, _Lara_ disagreed. It fit her, she thought. Cheerful she was, and cheerful she would stay._


	2. The Timeout

Okay, thanks peoples for reviewing. Sorry if the last chapter was a little slow, but this one is where Lara starts annoying Ozai. So, this chapter takes place two years before the show starts, when Zuko first leaves the Fire Nation.

OC haters, please don't kill me, but Lara isn't real. Everyone else is not mine, just Lara, and the actual ways to annoy him belong to Alaska Angel.

**1: Tell him he's being a bad boy and is on time out. Don't let him off the chair.**

_Two down, erm… let's see… Ozai, Mother… oh, well, Father would be counted as one down. So that's three down and two to go, not counting all the various pets that Iroh and I brought in over the years…_

Lady Lara, Fire Nation Deputy Princess, younger sister to the Fire Lord Ozai and the Dragon of the West Iroh, Mascot of the Fire Nation Royal Family, Aunt to Fire Nation Princess Zula and Prince Zuko, and Un-official Prankster of the Fire Nation was a very confusing person.

Which explains why it took her an entire paragraph to comment in her head that her nephew Zuko and her brother Iroh had just departed on a ship. Yes, she did think in paragraphs.

Although her face was just as cheerful as normal, internally, she was annoyed. _Very_ annoyed.

Zuko was her favorite nephew. Not that she really liked him that much, but he _was_ her only nephew, and his sister Zula was a butt-face. (Lara always called Azula by her childhood nickname of Zula, although nobody had used that since the Princess was old enough to talk, just to annoy her) And Iroh was cool.

And so Lara decided to strike back!

She would do the unthinkable. She would do something amazing. She would do something shocking. She would do something fitting. She would do something that nobody had ever done.

She would pull a prank on the Fire Lord.

Well, at the moment, she couldn't think of any pranks. So she would do something slightly _less_ unthinkable. She would annoy him, which was not very unusual, especially for Lara. After all, she was his little sister.

"Oh, OOOOOOZZZZZZAAAAAAIIIII!" cried Lara annoyingly.

"What?" her brother growled. He hated it when she used that cheerful tone with him. It made her sound so… girly.

"OOOOOZZZZZZAAAAAIIIIII!" repeated Lara.

"_WHAT!" _

"Ozai, you're being a bad boy," taunted his little sister.

"Lara, what are you talking about?"

"You're being a bad boy."

"Lara…"

"You're being a _very_ bad boy. A bad boy who deserves something special. A _timeout_."

"Lara, shut up," snapped Ozai. He turned back to the subjects he was intimidating at the moment.

But Lara would not be denied. _She_ was no cowering peasant. She was the Fire Lord's sister, and she would _not_ be intimidated into shutting up.

Indeed, Lara would put all of her considerable strengths into not shutting up. Her maturity coughyeahrightcough her prowess at pranks, her obstinacy, her pigheadedness her stubbornness, her persistence, her tenacity, her doggedness, her determination, her bullheadedness, and all those other synonyms of stubborn.

"Make me."

Maturity. Right.

"What?" demanded Ozai, looking up from the intimidated subjects.

"I said make me." Lara stopped her brother as he started to stand up from his throne angrily. "_Without_ getting up. You're on timeout, remember?"

"_Lara_!"

Without hesitation, the younger Fire Bender ran over and jumped onto the Fire Lord's lap.

"No getting up."

"Lara!"

"Uh, uh, _uh!_ You, my friend, are on timeout!"

"Lara, gerroff me," Ozai grumbled in a muffled voice. "You're embarrassing me in front of my subjects."

"That can wait," Lara told him firmly in a motherly tone. "You're on timeout. You have to learn your lesson. You don't want to grow up to be a bad boy, do you?"

"No," Ozai began submissively, then stopped. "Wait… **_Lara_**!"

"What?" Lara asked innocently.


	3. The Agni Kai

A/N Well, for Deamon Fire, who looked at the obvious, this chapter has an explanation as to why Ozai doesn't burn Lara to a crisp. Politics. Maybe it's a little OOC that he cared about it all, but the whole story wouldn't make sense at all if Lara died. Thanks to everyone who reviewed. Hope you like this new chapter.

**2: Ask him when he's gonna reveal the scar Zuko gave him during the Agni Kai. Gasp dramatically when people say they don't know what you're talking about.**

Lara was still annoyed.

Two months had passed since Zuko and Iroh had departed, and things were getting boring.

Without Zuko to annoy, Lara was stuck annoying Fire Lord Ozai, which was probably not the brightest thing to do.

Without Iroh to calm him down, Lara was stuck with an annoyed Fire Lord for the rest of the day, which was not the most fun way to spend a day.

So, perhaps boring wasn't the correct word for it. An angry Fire Lord hurling fireballs at you isn't _boring_, exactly, more… painful. Very painful.

And so Lara was still annoyed. And, once again, she decided to strike back!

See previous chapter for long thing about how she was going to do the unthinkable, blah, blah, blah, pull a prank on the Fire Lord, couldn't think of one, blah, blah, blah, decided to annoy him, which wasn't so unexpected, blah, blah, blah… You get the picture.

So, where were we? Oh, yes. Lara was going to annoy Ozai. Right.

Once again, Lara marched into the throne room. The two guards outside cowered in fear of her awesomeness, and let her pass unchallenged.

Well, that might have been because they were asleep, but Lara decided that it was her awesomeness. They were intimidated, see.

This time, Ozai was attending a social gathering designed to remind the populace who their leader was and to improve confidence in the governing body. At least, that was what their Father had called it. Ozai called it a useless waste of time, Lara called it fun, and Iroh called it a party.

Lara didn't seem to care much that she hadn't been invited to this party. In fact, she simply strode up to Fire Lord Ozai and plopped down on his lap.

"_LARA!_" Ozai's temper was always shorter at these social-gatherings-designed-to-remind-the-populace-who-their-leader-was-and-to-improve-confidence-in-the-governing-body/useless-waste-of-time/fun/party.

"Hi, big brother," Lara replied cheerfully.

Everyone at the (see two paragraphs up for full name) thingy stopped their conversations immediately to listen carefully and give furtive glances to their leader and the person who dared annoy him so much.

"Get… off… me," growled Ozai through gritted teeth. Lara was impressed. For once in his life, her brother seemed to be making a token effort to keep his temper. _Token_ effort, mind you. He wasn't really trying, just pretending to so that he would seem like a better person. Token effort. Remember that, now.

"You mean 'get off me, _little sister_,'" corrected Lara. "You can't deny being related to me forever, you know."

"Lara…" Maybe Ozai really _was_ trying to keep his temper… oh, of course. There were lots and lots of people there. Lara was royalty, so it would look very bad if he incinerated her in front of a crowd.

Zuko was different, mind. _Zuko_ had done something bad. Well, not really all that _bad_, but it was bad according to the Fire Nation. Bad with a capital 'B', making it Bad, instead of just bad.

What Lara was doing was bad. Zuko had been Bad. There's a difference.

"You know, big brother, you have quite a bit of a habit of keeping secrets," Lara continued in a stage whisper.

Of course, Lara was a very loud person, so a stage whisper for her was basically a shout for the rest of us. She didn't really _need_ to talk so loud, since everyone in the room was listening intently. You could have heard a pin drop. If Lara had deigned to shut up, which she didn't.

"But I'm glad you finally got the one about the Agni Kai out in the open."

"The… Lara, _what_ are you talking about?" demanded Ozai.

"You know. That one secret you were keeping about Zuko. How he really _did_ get a hit in on you during the Agni Kai, and it gave you a scar just as bad as you gave him, just in a… er… different place. I'm glad you finally told everyone about that."

"But I… wait… Lara!"

"You there," Lara beckoned a random guest over.

"Lara, if you don't shut up _this instant_," Ozai growled warningly.

"Do _you_ know about the scar that Prince Zuko gave the Fire Lord during their Agni Kai two months ago?" Lara asked the random guest, ignoring her brother.

"Err… no?" whimpered the random guest. "I've never heard of it, Lady Lara…"

Lara gasped so loud that she fell off Ozai's lap. "You've never heard of it?" she demanded from the floor.

"Lara, what are you doing?"

"Brother," Lara turned to Ozai, "You promised me that you would tell everyone what had really happened. I'm ashamed of you. Not only that, I'm shocked. I feel faint…"

For a moment or two, Lara reeled around on the floor, looking dizzy, then she collapsed.

Some of the guests looked concerned, others relieved at the momentary break in her constant chatter. Ozai, however, wasn't buying it and just looked annoyed.

"_**LARA!"**_

Lara propped herself up on her elbows. "What?" she asked innocently.


	4. The Odors

A/N, Okay, all the 'sorry I haven't updated recently', and stuff, but I have something important to tell you. The third in Twenty Ways seems to take place directly after the season finally, while some others seem to take place _before_ then. So, instead, I'm using the fourth, and doing the third at the end. Just FYI, sorry for any confusion.

And also, I accidentally used a different quote than the one Alaska Angel gave. Since I'm too lazy to go back and change it, just live with it, okay?

By the way, like Lara, General Vahe's name has a meaning. It means 'known lecturer'.

**4: When you walk into the War Room, look around with tears in your eyes. When someone asks you what's wrong, say 'nothing, it's just so stinkingly hot in here and it's really heightening the aromas.'**

Ozai does many inadvisable things. For example, I would not advise you to burn your son to a crisp and then banish him. That's just nasty.

I would not advise you to alienate your only brother if he is as cool as Iroh is, because doing that would make for a very boring life.

I would not advise you to favor your daughter if she is as evil as Zula is, because that will make her a spoiled brat, and anyways, she's a jerk.

I would not advise you to start a war with the rest of the world, even if you can win it, because that won't do much for your popularity. Well, it will, but not the way you want it to.

And most especially, I would not advise you to allow a General to invite your younger sister to the War Council, whether or not she has 'valuable information', if you have just ignored my advice and done all of the above.

But Fire Lord Ozai does not often take my advice.

Lara was very, very happy. She had a plan. The fact that her plan was very, very evil didn't really upset her that much. After all, she was Fire Nation. Not only that, but she was Fire Nation _royalty._ No surprise that she was evil.

General Vahe _also_ had a plan, but it was a very different plan. Lara's plan involved tormenting her older brother. Vahe's plan involved defeating Earth Kingdom. Very different.

The Earth Kingdom people had planted a spy. And the spy had known information, as many spies do.

But the Fire Nation people had _also_ planted a spy. And _that_ spy had known information about the other spy, such as the information that he _was_ a spy. So he killed him.

Unfortunately, the Earth Kingdom people's spy who had been killed by the Fire Nation people's spy had sent information to the Earth Kingdom people who had employed him as a spy before he had been killed by another spy.

And while Lara (obviously) hadn't known that the Earth Kingdom people's spy was a spy, she had known what he had known, just not that the Earth Kingdom people had also known it.

General Vahe's plan hinged on exactly _how_ much the Earth Kingdom people's spy had known. And Lara knew that.

So Lara was being summoned to the War Room.

There, she planned to do something hilarious. She wasn't quite sure what, but it would definitely be hilarious.

Suddenly, Lara remembered something from her childhood, when times were much less difficult, and she had had a brother to help her with her pranks.

"_You know what sucks?" Iroh asked suddenly, looking up._

_The Fire Nation princes and their younger sister had been sent up to the library while their parents were attending a social-gathering-designed-to-remind-the-populace-who-their-leader-was-and-to-improve-confidence-in-the-governing-body/useless-waste-of-time/fun/party. _

_Lara was twelve at the time, and had never been allowed to attend one of these. Iroh and Ozai both had, but their sister had not, and right now, she wanted nothing more than to be downstairs, having grown-up conversations with grown-ups and eating really good foods instead of the regular sandwich-type stuff that the children had been sent._

_Ozai glanced at his brother, momentarily pausing in his reading. "What sucks?"_

_Lara peered at the two over the top of her dolls. "Yes, Iroh, tell us!" she pleaded, knowing that Iroh would be much more likely to tell them if he was begged, and knowing also that Ozai never would._

"_Well…" Iroh paused a moment for dramatic effect. "We're all Fire Benders here, right?"_

_Ozai puffed himself up with pride and nodded while Lara bobbed her head excitedly._

"_Even, and especially, _you_, brother," Iroh added, nodding at Ozai._

_The prince puffed himself up a little bit more and nodded._

"_Well, as Fire Benders, we have more body heat than other people, right?"_

_That made Ozai pause for a moment, as he obviously hadn't been paying attention during that, or any other lesson in school. Lara nodded happily, glad to know something that her older brother didn't._

"_So Ozai, you are a Fire Bender. The increased body heat that you get from that also increases others' perception of one of your greatest qualities. Do you know what it is?"_

"_My amazing skills?" asked Ozai. Iroh shook his head._

"_His extreme vanity?" muttered Lara. Again, Iroh shook his head._

"_Nope!" the younger boy exclaimed gleefully. "His overpowering…"_

"_Sense of power?" suggested Ozai._

"_Nope," Iroh said again. "Stench!"_

Lara grinned. Now she knew what she was going to do.

"Where have you _been_?" hissed Ozai as he intercepted his sister outside of the War Room. "You're _late_!"

"Chill out, brother," Lara told him, gloating mentally in the chance to annoy him even_ before_ the pranks began. "You _did_ only tell me two minutes ago that I was supposed to be here. Considering the circumstances, I'd rather say I'm _early_."

"Whatever," Ozai retorted. He yanked a twig out of her hair, muttering something about how he'd never let his sister out in public looking like an Earth Bender. "_Don't_ mess this up, okay, Lara?" he snapped.

Lara looked at him with big eyes. "Wow, Ozai," she whispered. "You know my _name_!"

"Shut up."

The two of them entered the War Room together. Ozai, busy looking silent and imposing didn't notice the signs until it was too late.

The signs were thus:

Lara's eyebrows creased in concentration.

One of the more easily aggravated Generals started playing with fire.

Lara pursed her lips, trying not to smile.

All of these signs showed an impending prank, and if Ozai hadn't been so preoccupied, he might have prevented a disaster. Aren't we lucky that he didn't?

"Lady Lara," General Vahe began in the tone that said 'I'm lecturing you here, pay attention!'

"We have heard that you were consorting with the Earth Kingdom spy before his demise. You could not possibly have known that he was Earth Kingdom, as he did not tell you, and, as it is, you may have gained the Fire Nation a valuable advantage. But you have done so at a great risk to yourself. I must beg you never to do such a thing again.

"Had the spy been as crafty or as powerful as a Fire Nation spy, he would have instantly recognized you for what you are. The sister to the Fire Lord himself, as well as the Dragon of the West. The aunt to the Heir to the Throne, Fire Nation royalty, and a very powerful person. There is no information to show that he did _not_ realize any of this. You are lucky that he did not kill you on sight, which would have severely weakened our government. Not in truth, of course, the Fire Nation will always persevere, but the Earth Kingdom fools think that we would be weakened, and you would be dead.

"As it is, we do not know exactly _how much_ of the information that he gathered was sent off to the Earth Kingdom traitors before we killed him. If he had sent off information about, say, how the Fire Lord's younger sister was liable to become friendly with random strangers off the street, you would be severely endangered.

"And so, I must warn you, Lady Lara, never to do such a thing again. The Earth Kingdom fools may have other spies that we have not rooted out yet. The Water Tribe barbarians might as well, if the word 'spy' registers in their tiny brains. And, although you were lucky this time, either of these peoples might be very, very glad to see you killed.

"I feel much guilt for telling you this, as the knowledge that someone wants to kill you will severely mar your innocence. You are young, Lady Lara, but that does not prevent these terrible people from trying to kill you. Be wary! Be aware! And avoid making friends with people you do not know. Spies can be everywhere, Lady Lara. Know that, act on that, and you will be safe."

By now, Ozai and the Generals who _weren't_ too busy lecturing to notice anything had noticed that Lara wasn't paying much attention to Vahe. In fact, she was looking around, tears in her eyes, squinting terribly against her tears.

His lecture done, Vahe tuned in to the real world again and noticed that the girl he had been lecturing looked as if she was about to cry.

"Lady Lara?" one of the Generals, a younger man she hadn't met yet, asked tentatively. "Is something wrong?"

Vahe braced himself for his head to be chopped off if it turned out that he had made the Fire Lord's sister cry.

"Nothing," Lara sniffed. "It's just…" She looked up, and the tone of her voice changed to one that those who knew her well were more likely to recognize.

"It's so stinking hot in here that the odors are much worse than they usually are."

Ozai glared at his sister angrily. Hadn't he just expressly asked her not to embarrass him or herself in front of some of the most prominent men in the Fire Nation?

The Fire Lord was getting angrier and angrier. She had undermined his authority for the last time!

"**_LARA!"_** he roared.

Lara blinked at him innocently. "What?"


	5. The Furby of DOOOM!

Sorry, everybody, I know I haven't updated in a while. I was busy. Science state testing and stuff. Not to mention that I had to write a five-page paper on the interactions between humans and the environment in the northwest part of the country, and all the sources I could find were about _Kenya_. So, yeah. I've been swamped. And I'm going to the beach for a few days over spring break, and then in April I'm going to my grandma's birthday, and then on a class trip. So I won't be home for a while. Hope you all like this one.

**5: Give him a furby for his birthday. Snicker when it talks and scares him. Look innocent when he glares at you.**

"Happy birthday to you!" read Ozai. Scowling at the letter, he started to crumple it up, but was stopped by Lara snatching it out of his hands.

"Happy birthday from Zuko, too!" she sang, reading off the parchment. "We love you, dear Ozai. Happy birthday to you! Aww, how sweet."

"Its foolish nonsense, growled Ozai, starting to get up. Lara shoved him down again. Caught off-guard and off-balance, he landed in his chair, and his sister sat on his lap to prevent him from getting up.

No matter how old he got, there was one thing that Fire Lord Ozai never figured out. Not to say that he was stupid. He was, in fact, a very smart man. Evil, yes, it was a family trait. But smart. Definitely smart.

But there was still one thing that he never figured out. And that thing was very simple.

You see, Ozai was sixteen years older than Lara. The fact that his armor made him look bigger than he really was didn't mean much, he was still a rather large man. He was also extremely strong.

Lara, however, was not. Her power all went to her brains. She was small and lithe, whatever lithe meant. Ozai and Iroh were her much older bothers… er… brothers, sorry, they were her _brothers,_ she was their _bother. _Anyway, they had always been bigger and stronger than her.

So, when Lara sat down on Ozai's lap, according to the laws of physics and common sense, it should not prevent him from rising. But Ozai never really figured this out, which was why he remained seating.

"Foolish nonsense," Ozai repeated. "Birthdays are foolish nonsense, but my brother and Zuko making such a grand big deal out of it is even worse."

"And _who_ is Zuko?" teased Lara.

"A foolish coward," retorted the Fire Lord.

"He's your son," his sister retorted. "And _you_ are my loving brother who is a little to fond of the word 'foolish'."

"_Lara…"_ growled Ozai.

Shrugging off his warning tone, she lifted a wrapped parcel and dropped it in his lap. Well, she was already sitting in his lap, so it was more _her_ lap which it was dropped in, but the point is: it was a gesture to open it.

"Open it," Lara ordered, emphasizing her gesture by putting it in words.

Sighing, Ozai complied. He started to rip open the present, but Lara once again stopped him.

"Uh, uh _uh_," she warned him. "Read the card first."

Ozai opened the card, and started to read. Or, at least, he tried. As soon as he opened it, it began to sing.

Without another word, Ozai incinerated the card.

"Aww," whined Lara. "Big brother, you ruined it." She paused, giving him puppy dog eyes. When she got no reaction but a disgusted sigh, she shrugged. "Never mind. It's your birthday, after all. I'll just sing what the card was supposed to sing."

"No, Lara, that's quite alright…" began the Fire Lord hastily, but his sister would not be deterred.

"Have a happy birthday!

Have a happy birthday!

Hope you,

Hope you,

Hope you,

Have a happy birthday!

Dear Ozai-

We disagree a lot, but I hope you understand that I still love you anyway. You're my big brother, and I care about you. Have a happy birthday! Don't incinerate anything today, alright? You know how bad that is for your blood pressure. Today's your special day. Take a break. Happy birthday! I love you.

-Lara."

"I guess it's a little too late for that last one," she said sadly.

Ozai sighed. "Lara… Look, I know you meant well, okay?"

Lara smiled up at him, taking that as a much of an apology as she was going to get. "Open it now!" she chanted. "Open it now, open it now!"

With a twitch of the head which might have been a smile in any other man, Ozai complied.

Inside the parcel was a small toy. It was about the size of his hand, furry, with two glowing yellow eyes. Well, maybe they weren't _glowing_, precisely. Actually, they were closed at the moment.

It was a Fire Bender red, with a small Fire Lord crown right between its two pointed ears. A tuft of hair was springing out of each one, much like the hair that many of the generals had in their ears.

A small piece of his… its fur on the stomach was white instead of red, and that coloring was in the shape of a flame.

"Why, Lara, thank you," Ozai managed. "Er… what exactly _is_ it?"

Before the wayward Royal Sister could respond, the toy opened his… its eyes. "Hello." It said.

Ozai screamed and fell out of his chair. Lara, who was still on his lap, went flying. The creature twitched his…its feet as if it was trying to walk.

"Feed me," it ordered.

Once again, the Fire Lord screamed like a little girl. Actually, I think he might have been an octave or two higher…

Lara snickered quietly. Her big brother was _so_ hilarious!

"I love you," the thing announced randomly.

"I _don't_," cried Ozai, blatantly unaware that the toy had no idea what he was saying.

"I love you," it repeated.

"Lara, what _is_ this thing?" wailed the Fire Lord.

"Why, brother, I'm surprised you had to ask," Lara told him. She knew that she shouldn't be being so mean, but she couldn't help it. Ozai was funny when he was being terrified of a child's toy.

"Wha… what _is_ it?" he begged.

"Say please."

To her surprise, there was no resistance to that request. _"PLEASE, Lara, what is it?" _he screeched.

Lara smiled maliciously. "A furby. It's a child's toy. Very popular. Very cute, don't you think?"

"You got me a child's toy?" She nodded enthusiastically. **_"LARA!"_**

Lara grinned with the perfect innocence of the angle-furby that she had considered buying before spotting the Fire Lord edition. "What?"


	6. The Evil Knuckles

A/N I'm back, and I'm better than ever! Well, not really. But I'm back! I was at the beach since spring break started over here. And then after it ends, I'm going to be disappearing for an entire week!

Anyway, what I was _meaning_ to tell you is that this story will not be effected by any episodes in season two, since it entirely takes place in season one. Please don't tell me what happens in the second season, because I haven't seen any of them yet. Well, hope you like it!

**6: Sneak up next to him and crack your knuckles right in his ear. Be sure to hide behind Zula when he comes after you.**

Ozai's temper was frayed almost to the breaking point, and Lara was still very, very annoying… er… annoyed.

Well, that's not technically true.

No, don't fall over from shock. Don't have a heart attack. Lara was still annoying _and_ annoyed. It was the first statement that I was wrong about.

The Fire Lord's temper. It wasn't frayed almost to the breaking point. It was frayed. To the breaking point.

And so, Lara realized very quickly that she would not have to work very hard to annoy her brother. It may have been a very intelligent thing to figure out, but what she did with that knowledge was as stupid as she could ever be.

_Does he ever do anything else?_ Wondered Lara as she walked into the Throne Room. She had used the back door, the one behind the throne so that Ozai didn't notice her enter.

The thing that Ozai was doing was… oh, guess. No, guess.

Well, let's look at this logically. So that I can help you guess. Not to tell you the answer, mind you, so that you can make an educated guess.

What two things have Ozai done in the Throne Room during the duration (wow, that's redundant) of this story?

Right. He's terrified random civilians, and he's thrown a social-gathering-designed-to-remind-the-populace-who-their-leader-was-and-to-improve-confidence-in-the-governing-body/useless-waste-of-time/fun/party.

Did Lara enjoy either one of them? Hint: who came up with each name for it? Their father did the first one, Ozai did the second, Iroh did the fourth… You're right! Lara did the third!

Wow, that sounds like a stupid little kid TV show.

Anyway, I won't make you tell me anymore.

Lara called that fun. Therefore, she would not be disgusted if Ozai was doing it. So, logically, Ozai was frightening innocent civilians.

And Lara was bored by that. So, she decided to make it more interesting. For her. Probably just more terrifying for the innocent civilians, and more strange for everybody else in the room.

So, she came up with an obvious solution. And she executed the obvious solution.

She started bugging Ozai.

Sneaking up behind her older brother, Lara carefully checked the room. There were two Generals who would obviously paying no attention to her, three civilians, two of which were too terrified to notice, and one who just seemed curious, Zula, who was staring at Lara, wondering what her crazy aunt was doing now, and five politicians who were totally oblivious to the entire thing. And Ozai, of course. He was facing away from Lara, so he didn't see her sneaking up behind him, either.

And now you probably are wondering why Lara was sneaking up behind the Fire Lord in the first place. Can't you ever figure anything out for yourself? Sheesh, you're so dependant.

Sorry. I didn't mean that. Anyway, I won't tell you what Lara was doing, but I'll show you.

Trying to keep from laughing out loud, Lara (and I wouldn't recommend doing this, since it's very addictive and apparently bad for you. Wow, that sounded like she was doing drugs or something. Well, I wouldn't recommend that, either, but that wasn't what she was doing. I really doubt that Ozai would have been very annoyed by that. I could probably make some rude comments about what he _would_ have done, but I'm trying to keep this PG rated, so I won't) Oh, never mind. This paragraph is too long, so I'll tell you in the next one.

Sorry. I'll be nice now. Well, since what Lara did isn't really on this topic, I'll tell you in the _next_ paragraph. Hehe. I'm evil.

Lara cracked her knuckles in Ozai's ear. Whew, that took a while. I don't know why I was refusing to tell you since it says what she did in the first sentence. You know, when I tell you what Alaska Angel wrote?

Never mind. Anyway, she cracked her knuckles in his ear. Back to the story.

Ozai screamed. Well, not technically. He said something very intelligent. Loudly and shrilly, but very intelligent.

It was something along the lines of "Whabanaishrekdofushnahug!"

Which, of course, is in a foreign language. Idiotish. It translates to something like this.

"What… but… and… I… (scream)… do something… (curse word)… (curse word)… (scream)."

Which, in turn, is in _another_ foreign language. See, Idiotish is so complicated that it has to be translated to a simpler language before it is translated into English. This second language is called Moronic.

In English, this is what Ozai said.

"What is going on? Are we being attacked? But I know we are not being attacked, because I am extremely intelligent, as demonstrated by the complex language that I am speaking. And therefore, we are not being attacked. I will use my prophetic powers that I got because I am so intelligent to tell what is happening."

This is followed by a complex chant in a language that is impossible to translate. It is used to tell the future.

This is such an exhausting process that Ozai came out of it speaking Yoda-speak, although he soon recovered.

"Do something, I must."

The two curse words and the last scream actually translate into something like: "But if I reveal my extreme intelligence, people will have nothing to use to rail against me, and my enemies will no longer underestimate me. Therefore I must pretend to be stupid and do nothing to protect myself except curse and scream."

Ozai did not really live up to that idea. You see, he did something to protect himself besides curse and scream.

He threw his arms over his face, and screamed. "Don't let it get me! _Mommy!_!"

Lara tapped his shoulder. After all, he was her brother, and she didn't want to see him so upset. Actually, she was thinking that someday she might want something from him, but close enough.

Ozai looked up. He added two and two together (figuratively, of course, I can't see what five… er… four has to do with anything.)

Anyway, he added two and two together. Lara was behind him. Someone had cracked their knuckles in his ears.

"Did you do this?" he demanded.

His sister grinned. "No, Ozai, I didn't crack my knuckles in your ear. It was the Invisible Man."

"The Invisible Man? Where?"

"She's being sarcastic, Father," Zula explained. "Lara really _did_ crack her knuckles in your ear."

A fireball appeared over Ozai's hand. Never a good thing. For Lara, that is.

"Yeep!" screamed the aforementioned Lara, ducking behind Zula.

"Hey… what…." replied Zula articulately. Must run in the family.

"Get out here!" shouted Ozai.

"Let go of me!" cried Zula.

"Eat pie!" exclaimed Lara.

No, don't worry. It's not you, it's Lara. That _didn't_ make any sense.

"Did that make any sense?" asked Ozai, obviously not paying any attention to me.

"Maybe it did, maybe it didn't. That's for me to know and you to find out."

There was a short pause while Ozai and Zula tried to figure it out. Both of them reached the same conclusion of _pretending_ that they had figured it out, when indeed, they hadn't.

So, they decided to shout at Lara for saying something that undoubtedly had a hidden message. Actually, it didn't, it was just as random as ever, but they didn't know that.

"**_LARA!_**"

For once, it was with innocence _and_ confusion that Lara replied "What?"


	7. The Plot Which You Laugh Manically At

**7: Laugh maniacally when the Generals in the War Room think of another plot. Say that Iroh was better then all of them and don't understand how they could have possibly let him go. **

Guess what Lara was?

A) A Fire Nation Princess

B) Secretly a Water Bender

C) In love with Sokka

D) Appa's older sister

E) Annoyed and Annoying

F) The second Avatar who was born in our world and transported to theirs by a great power that even she, with all of her wisdom, doesn't understand, but when she landed on Zuko's ship and fell in love with him, he agreed to try to help her understand why she was sent to this world, but he doesn't know that she's the second Avatar.

G) All of the above.

That's right! E!

She was annoying because that's how she is. But she was annoyed for an actual reason, this time. She was annoyed because of a letter she had received.

And here is the letter.

_Dear Lara,_

_I'm sorry to say that I won't be able to write to you this often any more. You see, we're going to be traveling much faster these days._

_Prince Zuko found the Avatar. Believe it or not, he really _is_ the last Air Bender. Unfortunately, he's also twelve years old._

_This child is accompanied by two siblings from the Southern Water Tribe. The girl is a Water-Bender (although I doubt, from what we know of her people, that she has much training) and the boy is a warrior. _

_He also has a flying bison with an arrow on his head. Yes, you read right. A flying bison. Don't ask._

_Anyway, Zuko has found this Avatar. He escaped us the first time, and we are pursuing him. That means no stops on land (even for tea or food) when the Avatar isn't there, and constantly being on the move in order to catch up to him._

_So I doubt that I will be sending you any letters for quiet a while. I might not even receive yours, since our course will be unpredictable and you won't have a known place to send them._

_On the plus side, Prince Zuko and I will probably be home soon, _with_ the Avatar. You'd like him, Lara, from what I can tell._

_Be nice to Ozai. You know how much stress he's under._

_Your brother_

_Iroh. _

And so Lara was annoyed. What right, she wondered, did Ozai have to send her favorite brother and only nephew off chasing after the Avatar? Besides him being the Fire Lord, that is.

Therefore, she was annoyed, which I already said. And so she decided to make someone else annoyed. Guess who. No, don't guess. It was Ozai.

Marching directly into the War room without permission from the Fire Lord is never a good idea. But the guards were cowering in fear of her awesomeness (aka, sleeping) and so they didn't stop her. What's _with_ these guards?

Never mind. The guards aren't the point of this story. The point is what Lara did in order to annoy her oldest brother.

The generals in the War Room were all discussing another plot while watching the Fire Lord carefully in case he became angered with them and incinerated someone.

So _they_ weren't paying attention to Lara as she marched into the room and sat down in an empty chair.

And Ozai was busy looking imposing. Which seemed to take up a lot of his time. And attention. Therefore he didn't notice his younger sister in the room until it was too late. I like that word. Therefore. Therefore. Forethere. Therefore…. sorry.

Anywho, Lara managed to get into the War Room and sit down without anyone noticing her. That was probably more because nobody was paying attention than because she was sneaky, but oh well.

"We already have a place to put Earth Benders without anything they can bend," General Vahe explained. "They are on a barge in the middle of the ocean. But what about Water Benders, should we find any?

"We could hide them underground, but then there is the problem of underground lakes or rivers and drippage. We could put them on top of a mountain, but then there is the problem of clouds and pre-cip-i-ta-tion. We could put them in a valley without any bodies of water, but what would they drink?

"We do not want to waste valuable resources on making or finding another sort of liquid that they could drink. Fruit juice is expensive. Even milk costs more than water.

"Therefore, I say, that we do _not_ put them anywhere at all. That, should a Water Bender such as the one who travels with the Avatar be found, we should aim to kill rather than to capture. We should make no new place to keep these watery fools. We should kill them on sight, and thus strengthen our claim to the world."

This wasn't much of a plan. They had been doing exactly the same thing since Fire Benders first started to take over the world. Killing off Water, Air, and Earth Benders. The kidnapping rather than killing of Earth Benders was a new sort of thing.

So, General Vahe's new plan wasn't really a plan at all. But it was good enough for Lara.

"Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! BwahaHA!" laughed the evil Fire Nation person. (Lara).

_Now_ the Generals noticed her. And they were completely flabbergasted.

"What are you doing?" demanded the General who had asked if she was alright during her last trip to the War Room.

"I'm laughing manically at your plot," explained Lara. "It must be done for every new plot that the Fire Nation comes up with. Especially the evil ones."

"It must?" asked General Vahe, obviously not really noticing how ridiculous this was.

"Yes, it must," Lara told him firmly. "Even the stupid ones like this."

"It wasn't stupid!"

"But we're doing it already! What's the point? It's hardly worth laughing manically about, but it's my job."

"No, your job is to go away before I _kill_ you," snarled Ozai.

Lara laughed manically. "See? That's another evil plot. A very plain, simpleminded plot, but it's evil alright." She sighed softly. "I'll never understand how you _ever_ let my brother Iroh leave. He was _so_ much better than all of you put together!"

As the Generals muttered to one another in offense, Ozai snarled again. His sister was once again beginning to annoy him.

"**_LARA!_**"

Lara smiled sweetly. She had succeeded in her mission to bug her older brother.

"What?"


	8. The Song that Annoys Ozai

Thank you to everyone who pointed out that Sokka and Katara are from the _Southern_ Water Tribe, not the Northern. It has been remedied. Cookies for everyone!

On a less happy note, I will be gone until next Wednesday on vacation. Sorry, nothing I can do about it. At least I got a chapter up before I left.

Hope you like it

-Random Stuff About Stuff. I have no idea why I signed this, since you probably know who I am already. Whatever.

**8: Start singing 'The Song That Never Ends' when there's a small pause in the meetings.**

Lara had failed.

Don't be too shocked, it _does_ happen sometimes. Right now, she had failed at annoying her older brother.

After telling the Generals in the War Room that Iroh was much better than any of them, there had, naturally, been a bit of dissatisfied muttering. Then Ozai had explained to the entire room that Lara was just a child and wanted some attention. So he let her stay for the meetings.

Lara had never hated her brother more.

And she vowed _revenge_!

Yes indeed. Lara would never rest until she had avenged herself. And she would never have avenged herself until she was satisfied enough to rest.

So if she wouldn't be avenged until she rested and wouldn't rest until she had avenged herself, she would never be avenged.

And so she would spend the rest of forever bugging Ozai.

Isn't that cool?

Anyway, the meeting continued on a more subdued basis than ever before. Every once and a while, a General would stop what he was saying, as if afraid that it would offend Lara. And, of course, they were all staring at her when they thought she wasn't looking.

To Lara, this spelled one thing: fun. See, 'A General would stop what he was saying, as if aFraid… And, of coUrse, they were all stariNg…' See? F in Afraid, U in Course, and N in Staring. F-U-N. Fun.

Well, to Lara, everything spelled fun. Because everything spelled 'annoy Ozai' (Anyway, meeting, continued, on, every, would, waz, as, if) and Annoy Ozai spelled Fun. Because annoying Ozai is fun, and that counts, okay? Just deal with it. Sheesh.

Okay, let's get back on track. The Generals were all on edge because Lara was there, and Lara saw that as a perfect opportunity to annoy Ozai and therefore have fun.

Right. Three paragraphs summed up in one sentence. I _am_ pathetic.

Anyway, Lara didn't really have a plan on how to annoy her brother the Fire Lord. She was better with spontaneous things.

And her spontanouity and geniusisness would definitely come in handy here. Because before long, she was presented with an amazing opportunity.

"And the water supply of the troops on the Earth Kingdom's eastern border is almost entirely being supplied by raiding nearby villages. This cannot continue forever. While this is not an immediate problem, Your Majesty, it should be remedied before we send these troops anywhere else, unless it is near a water source. I would recommend further taxation of the nearby villages, so that we can import water from another source, such as different villages," General Vahe was in the proud possession of an extreme monotone that bored even Lara, with all of her maturity (coughyeahrightcough) and patience (coughseepreviousstatementcough).

Excuse me. We're having a bit of bad weather down here, and I have a cold. Sorry about that.

"How much do you think we should increase taxes?" asked Ozai in a bored tone.

"A twenty percent increase should do it," General Vahe droned.

"Done."

There was a moment's pause while the other Generals tried different methods of keeping themselves awake after listening to Vahe monologue incessantly.

One General pinched himself.

Another slapped himself.

Yet another yawned loudly.

One dumped a cup of water on his face.

Another banged his head against the table.

Yet another rubbed his eyes and stretched, earning himself a glare from Vahe.

One (a Bender) dropped a fireball on his leg and ran out of the room screaming.

That woke just about everyone up.

But there was still a long moment while everyone was trying to understand what was going on, and Lara's spontaneous annoyingness kicked in.

"This is the song that never ends!

It just goes on and on my friends!

Some people

Started singing it, not knowing what it was.

And ended up singing _forever_, 'cause

This is the song that never ends!

It just goes on and on my friends!

Some people

Started singing it, not knowing what it was.

And ended up…"

"Lara…." Ozai was still keeping his temper. "Get out."

Sadly, Lara got up and left the room, only to stand outside the door with the sleeping guards and the now-unconscious General.

Absently, the Fire Lord's sister woke one of the guards and sent him off to get medical assistance for the General who had burned himself, then returned to listening at the War Room door.

They were now talking about rations for the troops, completely forgetting about the rather odd instances that had just occurred. Fire Nation people are like that.

Continuing to listen to the conversation until the next pause was extremely trying for Lara. But she persevered through the proceedings.

One mutiny

Two civilian uprisings

Three problems of starvation since the last meeting

Four battles that their troops were engaged in

Five riots

Six cases of mass panic because the Avatar was back

Seven cases of mass _celebration_ because the Avatar was back.

Eight petitioners who wanted the war to end

Nine people who believed that the comet was never coming back

Ten minutes that this took.

And then…

Ten Generals said something stupid.

Nine Generals started kicking each other under the table.

Eight Generals started playing with fire.

Seven Generals asked to check if Lara was listening and were ignored.

Six Generals spaced out.

Five Generals fell out of their chairs and sustained minor injuries.

Four Generals had rumbling stomachs.

Three Generals asked for a break and were kicked out.

Two Generals yawned.

One General fell asleep and was kicked out.

There were only ten Generals there, but since four had been kicked out, there were six, plus Ozai. And none of those six had anything to say, but nobody wanted to ask for a break or to end the meeting.

So Lara stepped in. Literally.

"This is the song that never ends!

It just goes on and on my friends!

Some people

Started singing it not knowing what it was

And ended up singing _forever_ 'cause…"

You don't become Fire Lord by having patience, and Fire Lord Ozai couldn't keep his temper under pressure for _that_ long.

"**_LARA!_**"

And now Lara _had_ succeeded, so she felt free to smile innocently and say,

"What?"


	9. The Plan Involving Gas and Water

A/N: I know, I know, it's short. Sorry. I've been really busy with schoolwork, out-of-school stuff, random things that will take too long to explain, and my other story. So, since I know that I'm going to be taking forever to update and that they're going to be short and not-so-sweet like this one was, I have a proposal to make.

_**LiStEn Up! A PROPOSAL IS BEING MADE BY ME!**_

Thank you. Now, I'm suggesting that anyone who wants to, guest writes a chapter of this story. Please tell me if this just proves my insanity so that I can erase any records before the physiatrists find it and haul me away.

What you do is this: PM me telling me which chapter you want to write if you've read the original story and have a particular chapter-to-be you really like. If someone else has already laid claim to it, I'll tell you, if not, go ahead and write it, and email it to me at I'll post it as a chapter, and, obviously, give you full credit for it.

Anyone interested? Hope to get a PM from you soon

-Random

Disclaimer: The plotline belongs to AlaskaAngel, the characters and the world belong to the writers… sheesh! What _do_ I own? Don't answer that, please.

**9: Mix gas and water and dump it over his head. When he's about to flame up, say that if he does, he'll explode.**

Lara had succeeded. She had annoyed Ozai very, very much. But she was not going to stop yet. Because annoying Ozai was fun.

Don't make me get into how to spell fun out of the last paragraph. See, fun is the last word. So it is spelled f in fun, u in fun, n in fun. Okay, that worked without getting too far off track.

And now Lara had a plan.

Don't faint. She was still being spontaneous. She just wanted a long, involved evilness to use to annoy her brother. And everyone knew, from the evil look in her eye, that she was going to do something evil. They kept away from her. Far, far away.

But no one thought to warn Ozai.

And so Ozai went unwarned, because no one thought to warn him.

When Lara gets an evil look in her eyes and then marches straight up to her room, puts out a request for some odd materials, and the locks herself in there for a long time, that's bad. When lightening strikes the tower she lives in repeatedly, thunder booms, and she cackles evilly, servants start to take their vacation days in a swarm.

Of course, that didn't happen. If it had happened, Lara would be fried from the lightening striking her bedroom. Actually, it was a bright and sunny day when Lara decided to enact her evil plan.

First, she got a bucket. A fairly normal thing that can be terrible in the hands of the wrong person. And Lara was the wrong person. In this case.

Then, she got gas. A pretty unusual thing for that world, but the Fire Nation was much more technologically advanced and Lara _is_ the Fire Lord's sister, so she could get gas whenever she wanted. I could make a very immature joke about that, but I won't.

Finally, she got water. Which is a normal commodity that everyone has at some point in their lives, because everyone drinks. And I could make another stupid pun, but again, I won't.

Lara finished her Evil Plan by mixing them together. And I'm not going to bother going into the suspense thing like I always do, because I already put what's going to happen at the top of the chapter, so trying to be suspenseful about something that everyone already knows what's going to happen is very, very stupid; I can be very, very stupid sometimes, but I try not to, so I'm going to try not to like I normally do and not try to be suspenseful about something that everyone already knows what's going to happen because I put it at the top of the chapter. Try saying that in one breath.

Okay, returning to the plotline. Sheesh, that's so long I bet you've all forgotten what's going on. Recap time: Lara mixed gas and water in a bucket. Wow. Did I really say nothing of importance except that?

Recap: Lara finished her Evil Plan by mixing them (water and gas) together.

And so she walked down to where Ozai was terrifying random civilians.

Throughout the course of this story, we have learned much about the Fire Lord that we didn't know before.

He has a younger sister.

His greatest fear is a furby.

His generals are idiots.

His three most common pastimes are: terrifying civilians, attending meetings, and going to social-gatherings-designed-to-remind-the-populace-who-their-leader-is-and-to-improve-confidence-in-the-governing-body/useless-wastes-of-time/fun/parties.

He doesn't want to kill his sister. Most of the time.

Right now was one of those times he didn't want to kill his sister. That was about to change.

"Hey, brother!" cried Lara in the high-pitched voice that she knew he hated so much.

"Don't call me…" began Ozai automatically. And then he realized something.

Lara only called him brother in that annoying high-pitched voice when she had something annoying to say or do. Not that she didn't _always_ have something annoying to say or do, but when she said that in that annoying voice, she was going to be even more annoying usual.

And she was running at him with a bucket of some unknown substance with an evil grin on her ever-so-annoying face.

This could _not_ be good.

She dumped the contents over his head. And he exploded.

Not literally, of course. Figuratively. As in, he started yelling at her, not as in he blew up.

"Brother, don't make a fireball," warned Lara with false concern. "If you do, you'll explode. More than you did already. Its water and gas. If you add fire, you'll explode."

"I think we've covered that," muttered Zula.

But her father had something else to say to his sister. **_"LARA!"_**

Lara grinned evilly. And _then_ she smiled innocently and said 'what'.


	10. The Wedding That Never Existed

A/N: Special thanks to Deamon Fire for the choking-on-spit thing, and to DarkAvatar13 for suggesting that it be Lara's birthday.

The proposition is still in place, for anyone who wants to write a chapter. Number eighteen is taken, though.

This chapter is entirely random. I, personally, am _not_ a zutara shipper, although since I haven't quite gotten caught up yet, there might be something to change my mind. But I follow the story, and hopefully, this will be funny.

Also, part of the letter, while just there to take up space, is a reference for the readers of my Sing Along series. Yes, this is blatant self-advertising. Still, I like my stories to have a connection. Even if it _is_ a totally random one.

**10: Casually explain that his son is going to marry a Waterbender. Say he can't do anything about it since he banished him.**

_Dear Lara,_

_Happy birthday! Still hunting the Avatar. Zuko's getting grumpy. Something strange happened, though. _

_Zuko got trapped in a cage with me and the Avatar, a delightful child named Aang. I really do like him... Ozai isn't reading over your shoulder, is he?_

_Anyway, somehow they ended up singing. It was hilarious, and very good for Zuko's temperament. Remind me to tell you all about it when we get home. _

_Speaking of temperament, how is our brother Ozai? You aren't annoying him too much, are you? You really shouldn't…_

_But you can do whatever you want, Lara. It's your birthday. _

_Have a great one! And a good year to come, if I'm not there for any of it!_

_All my love_

_-Iroh_

This letter reminded Lara of the thing that annoyed her most. The fact that her favorite brother and her only nephew had been banished by her least favorite brother.

And so, as Lara usually does when she was annoyed, she decided to get revenge on the one who annoyed her, namely, Ozai.

And how would she do that? Well, my friends, it was quite simple. You see, she would do what she did best.

That's right. She'd annoy Ozai.

But not as she had before. Oh, no! She would annoy him even more than she ever had before. And not only would she annoy him. She would aggravate, irritate, exasperate, infuriate, all those other things that end in ate, bother, upset, madden, enrage, frustrate, and drive him mad.

And this is how she did it.

"Hey, big brother." Lara called. They were at a gala for the Fire Lord's sister's birthday. And if Ozai was being pointedly avoided by his subjects, well, it wasn't the first time, and it wasn't as if he really cared.

"What?" growled the Fire Lord. He had just come from a particularly tedious meeting, and his nerves were very frayed. The only reason he hadn't already snapped was because it was his sister's birthday, and he was trying to be nice.

Lara was undeterred. "I got a letter from Iroh today," she informed him.

"Oh?" Ozai was trying very, very hard not to snap. Lara could have made that easier on him by going away. Obviously, she didn't.

"Yup. He says that he and Zuko are never coming back."

"I should have expected that foolish coward to give up on his quest for the Avatar so soon."

"Oh, he hasn't given up," Lara replied cheerfully.

"Good."

Lara paused for a moment. Did she really want to do this? Sure. Why not?

"He's getting married."

Ozai actually dropped his glass in surprise. It shattered. He ignored it.

"To whom?"

Lara shrugged. "Nobody we know. Someone he met on his travels, I believe. Iroh didn't mention her name, but he seemed to have a very high opinion of her."

A servant scuttled over and began sweeping up the mess Ozai had made. The Fire Lord paid no more attention to them than he had to the glass.

"What else did he say about her?" he demanded.

"Not much," his sister replied. Just that she was very kind, that knowing her was good for Zuko, and that he liked her family very much. Oh, and she's a Water Bender."

"_**What!"**_

The room instantly cleared of everyone except Lara and Ozai at the Fire Lord's angry cry.

Fire Nation citizens may have been terrified by this. But Lara was just amused. A little _too_ amused, actually.

And the fact that Ozai was pacing and mumbling too much to even notice his younger sister rolling around on the floor chocking on her own saliva while still laughing hysterically wasn't helpful at all. Just typical.

"I'll kill him. I'll banish him. No, I already did that. I'll bring him back here, then. Lock him away. Find the girl and kill her. Kill him. Give the throne to Azula. Already did that, too. Kill the girl. Kill Zuko. Kill them both! Kill… kill…"

"You can't do that, you know," Lara gasped, finally recovering from her laughter.

"Yes I can. I can. Kill them both. Kill…" The red glow in Ozai's eyes was _not_ a good sign. Whatever.

"But you banished him," Lara pointed out. That didn't deter her brother at all.

"Yes! Yes, I'll banish him!"

"No, you already did that," his sister pointed out. "And since he's banished, he's technically not a Fire Nation citizen anymore, _or_ your son, so there's really nothing wrong with Zuko marrying a Water Bender."

"Kill… Kill Zuko… Kill _Water Bender_."

"Uhh… Ozai?"

"Kill…." at this point, Lara decided that this mad rampage was going a little _too_ far. So she slapped the Fire Lord. He snapped out of it, and back into he regular level of anger.

"**_LARA!"_**

Lara decided to feign innocence. After all, Ozai's insanity was enough that he might actually believe that she hadn't done anything wrong.

"What?"

Wow. That was… morbid. Evil. Insane. Well, let's hope it was funny, too.


	11. The Stinky Person

A/N For guest writers, the ones that are still open are: 3, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 19, 20. Anyone who wants to write one, PM me so that I don't give it to someone else, and then email the chapter to me when you're done.

Hope you like it!

**11: Ask him when was the last time he took a bath.**

Ozai, as you might have guessed, never for a moment thought that Lara hadn't done something. I mean, really! Look at it logically.

Something weird happened.

It happened to Ozai.

It happened while Lara was in the room.

Lara was annoyed at Ozai.

When Lara was annoyed, she became annoying. (At least, more annoying than she usually was)

Who do you think did the weird thing that happened to Ozai while Lara was in the room and annoyed at Ozai, and therefore became more annoying than she usually was?

That's right! Katara!

Yeah, that was sarcasm. Sorry. It was definitely Lara. No doubt about it. Nuh-uh. Definitely here. Anybody could guess that. Very simple. Undoubtedly.

Okay, I'll shut up now.

The point is, Lara annoyed Ozai (see previous chapter) and Ozai didn't believe her when she said she hadn't done it.

And so, Ozai decided to enact the worst punishment possible upon his younger sister.

Yes, it was evil. But he was the Fire Lord. Of _course_ he was evil.

Yes, it was cruel. But he was the Fire Lord. Of _course_ he was cruel.

Yes, it was unfair. But he was the Fire Lord. Of _course_ he was unfair.

Lara protested all of these things. But Ozai, being the Fire Lord, didn't listen to her.

And so, Lara's punishment was carried out as planned.

"You can't do this to me!" wailed Lara.

"I'm the Fire Lord! I can do whatever I want!"

"You're not my father!"

"No, I'm your brother! But I'm also the Fire Lord, so I can do whatever I want!"

"You wouldn't do this to your younger sister!"

"I'm the Fire Lord! I can do whatever I want!"

"You have really uncreative comebacks!"

"I'm the Fire Lord! I can do whatever I want!"

Lara paused for a moment, wondering if that made any sense. She decided to pretend that she understood it, and just use that response as a way of getting back at her dear older brother.

"See, that's exactly what I'm talking about," Lara told Ozai calmly. "You just keep bringing the fact that you're the Fire Lord into the argument. That's not what we're discussing at all."

"I beg to differ," Ozai retorted. "We are discussing your lack of respect for me. As the Fire Lord, I deserve and require respect from all of my subjects, even and especially you."

"That's not what we're arguing about at all. Anyways, I'm your sister, so I don't count."

There was another pause as Lara wondered whether it was really a good idea to say that she didn't count, and Ozai wondered how to use that to his advantage. Both eventually decided to ignore that.

"As my sister, you are a very powerful, high-ranking person in the Fire Nation, correct?" asked Ozai.

"Yeeeeessss…." Lara contemplated, unsure what that had to do with anything.

"People look up to you. You have to set a good example of obedience and respect for the government."

"See, that's exactly what I mean!" Lara protested. "You keep throwing the fact that you're the Fire Lord back in my face. But it doesn't really change anything. Your comebacks were _still_ extremely uncreative."

Don't worry, this rambling has a point. Because, see, Lara had a plan. A spontaneous plan, but a plan nonetheless.

She was going to try to outwit the Fire Lord.

Not that she didn't attempt that all the time. And occasionally succeed, too. But this time, she was going to try to do something on purpose that she had done so many times on accident.

She was going to try to make Ozai forget what they were arguing about in the first place.

And if he forgot before giving his orders to anyone, than Lara would go unpunished. And that was good, since the punishment that Ozai had planned for his sister was so terrible, it doesn't even bear speaking about.

So I won't tell you. I'll keep you in suspense. Because for once, I have something to keep you in suspense about that wasn't in the title.

You feel suspenseful yet? Too bad. I'm not going to tell you anyway.

Alright, so, while I was blabbering about punishments and suspense, the argument going on between Ozai and Lara was continuing without any mishap.

It was continuing maturely and calmly, calmly and maturely. For them, anyway.

Well, the point is, it was continuing. And most of it is irreverent. Irrelevant. Whatever.

Actually, it was sort of both… Whatever. Not important.

Okay, here we go. Back to the topic. Forgetting that I ever began to ramble.

Well, don't forget the important points. There will be a test, after the story ends.

Oh, yeah right. I've had enough of tests, too.

Returning to the point…

"Wait… what were we arguing about again?" asked Ozai. Lara carefully suppressed a smirk.

"I'm not sure," she lied. "Why don't we just forget about it and go get some hot chocolate?"

"No," Ozai replied. "I'm not giving you any more caffeine. You're hyper enough as it is."

"I'm not hyper! I'm just… misunderstood!"

"You are _too _hyper! You're the most hyper person I know!"

"Well… you're the most stinky person I know!"

Ozai's eyes popped out of his head. Well, not literally, that'd be gross. Really gross. And then he wouldn't be able to see anything. Which wouldn't be too bad. It would make things much easier for Aang. But it would be very bad for Lara.

After all, some of her pranks require Ozai being able to see what annoying thing she's doing now. And if Ozai couldn't see, than she'd feel bad about taking advantage of that to prank him behind his back.

So she might actually stop pranking him.

Well, not really. She'd probably just slow down a little. But then this story would be much more boring. And Lara would be much more bored. And she'd probably kill everyone out of sheer boredom.

But none of that speculation matters, since Ozai's eyes only popped out of his head figuratively. Got that? As in they widened in an expression of surprise.

And now we return to our regular broadcast.

Recap: "_Well… you're the most stinky person I know!"_

_Ozai's eyes… widened. _I'm not going to go into all of that confusion again.

"What… did… you… say?" asked Ozai in a strangled voice.

You know what? I'm not even going to go into why that's not to be taken literally. I'm just going to tell the story, and shut up. No more rants about figurative and literal phrases. Not for me. My ranting days are over! For the next half-hour, at least.

"I said, you're the most stinky person I know! I mean, seriously. When was the last time you took a bath?"

And then, Ozai did remember what they were arguing about. And he remembered the terrible punishment he was going to perform on Lara.

"Lara…" he began ominously. Lara, sensing what he was about to say, backed into a corner nervously.

But it was too late. Ozai was finishing his sentence.

"Go to your room!"

Lara stalked out of the Throne Room, and a few still-terrified guests snuck in. The social-gathering-designed-to-remind-the-populace-who-their-leader-was-and-to-improve-confidence-in-the-governing-body/useless-waste-of-time/fun/party (which was originally Lara's birthday party) was in full swing.

But Lara was not about to let her birthday party continue without a bit of annoyance from her. Oh, no!

So she poked her head back into the room.

"Stinky!" Lara called to the Fire Lord.

And now his temper was frayed to the breaking point, and Ozai snapped. Again.

"_**LARA!"**_

You guess it! Lara's response was: "What?"


	12. The DoorKnocker and the Fireworks

A/N I know I said I'd be gone today, (in my notes on my homepage) but it turns out, I'm not leaving until this afternoon, so I get to post today, before anyone wakes up. And, as you might notice, today's chapter has somewhat of a theme to it. To all my American readers: Happy Independence Day! To all my non-American readers: Have a happy day, no matter where you are! Hope you like it. Also, after seeing the episode Zuko Alone, and realizing that Iroh is, indeed, older than Ozai, I'm going back to the first chapter and switching their ages. So Iroh was sixteen when Lara was born, Ozai was fourteen, instead of the other way around.

Enjoy!

**12: Knock on his door late at night. Run away before he opens it.**

Lara did not spend her birthday in her room. She spent her birthday running away from Ozai so that she would not have to spend her birthday in her room.

Eventually, however, she was captured. And so she spent the day _after_ her birthday in her room.

But that did not mean that she wasn't still annoying. Oh, no. She was just annoying from her room. And inside that room, her annoyingness simmered. Angrily. Simmered angrily. Because she was alone in her room, and couldn't annoy anyone but herself. And that's a very bad idea.

So it simmered. See previous paragraph.

Now, as you know, when annoyingness simmers, it becomes more and more annoying. Until finally, Lara could no longer control her annoyingness. _It_ was in control now.

And Ozai beware.

Lara's annoyingness was simmered to the boiling point.

Ozai's temper was frayed to the breaking point.

That is not a good combination.

Each had a different approach to what to do about their simmering/fraying character traits. Ozai went around yelling at and occasionally frying random people. He also ordered two different Earth Kingdom villages burnt, one general executed, and wrote a very threatening letter to Zhao about capturing the Avatar. Not to mention the Zuko voodoo doll….

But Lara was wise. She allowed her annoyingness to simmer, knowing that it made her more powerful. And so it simmered. All day, while she was trapped in her room. All evening, while servants snuck into her room to put out the candles, thinking she was asleep. And about half of the night, while everyone else slept.

Until, eventually, it was night. Late night, midnight. Ozai-is-asleep-type-night.

And Lara had a plan.

Slowly, agonizingly slowly, she crept from her room.

There was a noise from the corridor nearby. Lara ducked into a closet.

It was General Vahe, looking for a midnight snack. Unfortunately, his private candy store, as Lara knew (don't ask how) was in the closet she was hiding in. And he was coming slowly closer.

Quickly and cleverly, Lara sent a fireball rolling like a tumbleweed down stairs, and ducked into a closet. When she peeked out, Vahe had left, presumably chasing after the fireball/tumbleweed.

That was the way things work in the Fire Nation.

And so, the coast was clear, and Lara put her plan into action.

She slowly crept up to Ozai's bedroom door. The guards, as usual, were asleep. Stupid guards. Anyway, she crept up to Ozai's bedroom door. She stretched out her hand. Closed it into a fist. Reached forward… Just a little more…

In trying to reach Ozai's door, Lara accidentally took one step forwards. Right onto the Squeaky-SleepTime Furby Plush Doll (Fire Nation Edition) that was lying in the arms of one of the guards.

SQUEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAK! Announced the Furby.

And that woke the Furby, the guards, and the Fire Lord.

Ozai burst through the door.

"What is it?" the Fire Lord said.

"Who goes there?" the guards said.

"I love you," the Furby said.

"I love you, too," Lara said.

That was a mistake. Because with that, Ozai and the guards simultaneously realized that she was there. Which (hopefully) they would have anyway, but if Lara had kept quiet, she might have postponed her doom.

Hahahahahahahahaha! Lara keeping quiet! Oh, that's a laugh!

Returning to the story…

At least our hero did one thing right that day. Night. Whatever. As soon as she realized that Ozai knew she was there, she ran. Fast. Into the most active place she could think of.

The Throne Room, where the servants were preparing for Fire Day, the annual celebration celebrating the Fire Nation. There would be fireworks, and food, and a contest to see who had the best interpretation for the Fire Nation's National Anthem.

At the moment, a fat, black-bearded man was practicing. Which only added to the noise and commotion.

"FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIREEEEEEEEEEEEEEE NATTTTTTTIOOOOOOOOON!"

"Hold it steady, hold it…. WATCH IT!"

"_Lara…_ WHERE ARE YOU?"

"MY HEART BURNS FOR THEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

"No! Don't put the drinks over _there_, you idiot. That's where the Princess Azula _always_ burns when she's angry. Every year."

"Found you!"

"Yipes!"

With that, Lara managed to trip over the roast Turtle-Duck, knock a torch out of a servant's hand, and thereby light the fireworks.

It was a very splendid display. And Lara used them to shut out the noise of her brother's voice.

"**_LARA!"_** Ozai screamed.

Lara couldn't hear him over the din.

"_What?"_ she called.


	13. The Yoga

A/N Okay, I'm going to stop pretending that the idea of a guest writer is for your benefit. I'm trying to write two stories at once, between this and Sing Along2, and I keep catching myself planning a sequel to Mary-Sues of All Kinds. Any takers? Only number eighteen is taken.

On another note, I had a great vacation. Shot off some fireworks, caught a newt or five and named one Lara, debated the supporting of Zutara with my brother, etcetera. Hope you like this new chapter.

**13: Encourage him to take a yoga class. Don't tell him what it is until he's already there.**

Lara was beyond annoying.

Well, we already knew that. I mean, annoying is your little brother jabbering on about his video games. Annoying is your friend saying she'll call you and then not. Annoying is people thinking you have a crush on someone you hate.

No, Lara was not annoying. Lara was extra-super-extremely-aggrivatingly-annoying. Also known as Lara.

But now she was beyond bugging Ozai as revenge for… whatever she was avenging this time. Maybe it was the Furbies. Maybe it was Zuko. Maybe it was the dust bunnies, which he had recently swept away. Maybe it was the fireworks.

Maybe it was her sanity.

Anyway, she was beyond bugging Ozai. She was going to reach a higher level. A never-before reached level. A level that nobody in their right mind had ever even considered.

She would do the unthinkable. She would do something amazing. She would do something shocking. She would do something fitting. She would do something that nobody had ever done.

She would pull a prank on the Fire Lord.

This train of thought seemed somehow familiar. But this time, she really _did_ have a prank in mind.

She wasn't sure if this counted, but, by golly, wasn't she the daughter of Fire Lord Azulan (now passed), sister of Fire Lord Ozai and the Dragon of the West Iroh, the aunt of the infamous former Prince Zuko and the next in line for the throne, Princess Azula, the bane of every General in the Fire Nation who had met her (except for that one guy, the one whose name she couldn't remember, who had asked her if she was alright while she was annoying Vahe)?

Yes, she was. And if she said that this was a prank, then it _was_ too a prank!

Only at the moment, she couldn't really remember what the prank was. So she went up to her room and thought.

She thought and thought. She thought many thoughts. She thought of pranks. She spelled out the word pranks. P-R-A-N-K-S.

The word pranks began with the letter P. What else started with P? Post, as in letters, which she hadn't gotten from Iroh in some time. People, as in the ones who would witness her pranks. Pirates, which were cool, just like her. Pie, which rhymed with die, which was what she'd do when Ozai caught her pranking him. With whatever prank she had thought of.

Pie, which started with a P, just like Pirates, People, Post, and Pranks, and rhymed with Die, also rhymed with Fly. Lara wished she could fly. Flying sounded fun. Fun and Flying both started with an F. Just like Food, which she liked as much as Pranks. And Foolish, which Ozai thought everyone was.

Foolish, which started with an F just like Food, Fun, Fly, which rhymed with Die, which rhymed with Pie, which started with a P, just like Pirates, People, Post and Pranks, started with an F just like Fwap. Fwap was oni… ona… that thing that meant it was a word that meant a sound. It had a W in it. Like Winter.

Lara liked Winter. In the winter, there was snow, which had a W in it just like Winter did. W with an O in front of it spelled OW. Which was what people said after annoying Ozai. Except for Lara. Ozai thought it would look bad to kill his sister. He hadn't even killed Zuko, after he had done something Bad. Lara had only done something bad.

Bad was a short word. It only had three letters. Like You. You started with a Y. Why ended in a Y, but was pronounced with just Y. Y was a cool letter. It was right before Z.

But Y was cooler, since Ozai had a Z in his name.

Y. Yams, Yuck, Yow, You, You'll, Yoda…

Almost everything she'd thought of so far somehow related to the unknown prank. Yoda did, too. Somehow.

Yoda.. Youda… You do… You go… Yo go… Yoga! That was her prank. Yoga.

Because Yoga sounded like Yoda, which started with a Y just like You'll, You, Youch, Yow, Yuck, Yams, and You, which had three letters like bad, which is what Lara was, and what made Ozai want to make her go OW, which had a W in it, like Snow and Winter, and Fwap, which started with an F, just like Foolish, Food, Fun and Fly, which rhymed with Die, which rhymed with Pie, which started with a P, like Pirates, People, Post and Pranks.

Since her train of thought started with Pranks and ended with Yoga, the prank had to involve yoga somehow. See? Perfectly logical.

Anyhow, by the time Lara had remembered her prank, it was nighttime again. So she decided to put her extreme patience to work and wait until morning for the prank.

Lara probably wouldn't have managed that, except she fell asleep. So she did. Manage it, I mean.

And then next morning, she spent all morning carefully practicing a suitably contrite, calm, and woeful expression, without laughing. Except the time she took to eat. She ate yams. And said yuck. Even though she liked yams.

Anyway, in the afternoon, she sought out Ozai. According to the random General who she wasn't the bane of (she'd have to work on that) the Fire Lord was in his room.

Lara knocked on Ozai's door quietly, getting a chance to use the expression she had practiced all morning.

"What?" a voice demanded from inside. From the fact that the guards were asleep, Lara assumed that it was Ozai. Also, since he was her brother and she'd known him all of her life, she recognized the voice.

"Ozai?" called Lara. "Can I talk to you?"

There was a pause, before Ozai finally grumbled "Come in."

Lara entered. Ozai was sitting at his desk, reading something that was either reports from the warfront, or the collection of fairy tales that Zuko, Iroh, and Lara had given to him for his birthday years ago. Knowing her brother, Lara decided not to ask.

"What?" Ozai asked again.

Lara checked mentally to make sure that her face was suitably contrite, calm, and woeful before answering. "Ozai, I know we've had our differences lately. Well, for a very long time. Years, even. Okay, all of my life. And I think that I've figured out why."

"Why is that?" asked the Fire Lord. Whether he was genuinely interested, or just wanted to get rid of her, Lara would never know.

"Well, I'm an annoying person. I do better with people like Iroh, who have a sense of humor."

"The Fire Lord doesn't need a sense of humor."

"Yes, but you're too tense! You should take yoga."

"What's yoga?" Lara's brother asked in confusion.

"I'll show you!" Without another word, Lara grabbed onto Ozai's arm, and dragged him out of the room. The poor Fire Lord was too confused to protest.

Thirty minutes later:

"Class, we have some very special guests today," the yoga instructor told her students. "Joining us in this center for peace and harmony are Fire Lord Ozai, and his sister, Lady Lara."

Ozai looked confused. A center for peace and harmony in the Fire Nation? Since when?

"Now, we will begin our class with our daily meditation. Everyone, lie back and close your eyes."

Even more perplexed than he had been before, Ozai found himself tugged down by Lara.

"Imagine you are floating on a lake. The sun is shining. All is peace and harmony. The elements are quietly co-existing as never before. You are calm and relaxed…"

Lara flinched, expecting their usual interaction after Ozai discovered a prank.

"_**LARA!"**_

"_What?"_

But it never came. Ozai, unbelievably, seemed to be enjoying himself.

Note: I'm not sure if all yoga classes are like that, but that's what the one I took was like. And yes, they did actually tell us to imagine a lake with the elements quietly co-existing. And two girls couldn't do it because they were scared of lakes, so their mom told them to imagine a swimming pool instead. I don't know why they were scared of lakes, not water, just lakes, but they were. Anywho, no offense meant to any yoga-people, that's just my personal experience.


	14. The Mosquito with the Deadly Poison

A/N Sorry it took so long. My brother has become obsessed with Sims2, and the bits that I got up were lost when he closed Word before I saved. And we're moving, and everything's so confused that I don't even have a bed anymore, so I'm sleeping in a mattress in my brother's room. And if that's not excuse enough, my aunt is visiting. Sorry, all. Hope the quality makes up for it.

By the way, this one takes place directly after the season one episode 'Jet'.

**14: Whack him at random intervals and yell 'mosquito'…very loudly. When asked what they are, just smile and say they carry deadly poisons. Then look at a General and say that there's one on his arm. Be sure to hit him afterwards.**

"You were enjoying yourself!" Lara sang out, grinning from ear to ear at her older brother. Ozai glared at her.

"I was _not_ enjoying myself, whatever you may say," he growled. His sister remained undeterred.

"You were _too_!"

"I was _not_!"

"Were too!"

"Was not!"

"Were too!"

"Was not!"

"A thousand times were!"

"A _million_ times wasn't!"

"Infinity times was!"

"Fire Lord wasn't!"

Lara paused. "What's _that_ mean?" she asked, so completely confused that she didn't even bother to sound annoying.

"It means that I am the Fire Lord, and if I say that I wasn't enjoying myself, than I wasn't."

"That's not fair!"

"It's just the way things go."

Still bickering, the brother and sister made their way towards the Great Hall, where there was going to be a feast celebrating something very, very special.

_The Fire Nation had won_.

Not what you think, not the war or anything. No, they had done something else, but no less important. Something great, and something that would go down in history as the greatest victory ever in the Fire Nation.

_They had defeated the Avatar._

Okay, not really. They had _sort_ of beat him at something. They hadn't captured him, or any of his friends. But they had stopped enemies of the Fire Nation while he was in close proximity.

_They had destroyed the rebels._

Well, no. They hadn't destroyed anything. They had saved some Fire Nation citizens from a group of kids living in tree houses.

_They had outwitted their enemies._

Never mind that the Avatar had been the one doing the actual saving. Or maybe it was his friends… But still, they had done _something_, and it was about time that something got celebrated. So they were celebrating the fact that they hadn't lost.

_They were pathetic._

Finally, the dramatics said something that was true.

Ozai stopped Lara before she entered the Hall.

"No annoying," he ordered, as some person or other announced them. "No talking back, no whining, no food fights, no arguing, no contradicting me, no pranks, no jokes…"

"Maybe I should just stay in my room," she suggested hopefully.

The announcer finished, and the doors opened for them to enter.

"Not a chance," he hissed.

Lara was now officially annoyed with him.

But she kept quiet, and allowed him to enter dramatically. She avoided making sarcastic comments even when idiots fawned over her brother and left her perfect openings.

For this was all in preparation for a greater terror.

Wow, that was dramatic.

To her extreme joy, Lara found herself sitting next to the nice young General who she had liked so much. That was before she realized that he would have to be dragged into her prank, or it wouldn't work.

Ah, well. Too bad for him.

Lara's annoyingness began halfway through the feast.

Ozai was talking at the moment. He was answering some question about his daughter.

"Yes, Azula's name is the female version of my father, Fire Lord Azulan (now passed). She…"

At that moment, Lara did something that, truly, had never happened before.

She hit the Fire Lord.

Yes, you her right. She hit him. Right on the head. So that he fell straight into his soup.

The moron who had been talking to him turned around and ran away. Several others did the same, and many backed slowly away from Lara. Her General friend was polite enough to stay, although he moved himself out of the line of fire.

No pun intended.

Ozai pulled himself up. His crown had stayed in the bowl, and his long hair was dripping with his dinner.

No one made a sound.

Finally Lara broke the silence.

"**_MOSQUITO!"_**

Everyone stared at her.

"What is a mosquito?" the Fire Lord asked dangerously.

Lara smiled enigmatically. "They carry deadly poisons," she informed the room. Then she turned to her General friend.

"There's one on your arm," she told him, raising her own hand to smack him.

But that was not to be. A great mishap happened. As mishaps tend to do. And this was because of three factors.

Her General friend had quicker reflexes than she though, and he _hated_ bugs.

General Vahe was sitting right next to him.

A server, unaware of what was going on, was bringing out the cake.

Lara started to smack the nice General. But he jumped out of the way, trying to avoid the mosquito. Missing him (the General, that is, not the mosquito) entirely, she hit General Vahe. Vahe had been elbowed accidentally by the other General as he started to get up, and was therefore off-balance. So when Lara hit him, he went flying.

Right into the cake.

Once again, there was a deathly silence. Only this time, it was broken first by Ozai, and only _then_ by his sister.

"**_LARA!"_**

"What?"


	15. The Threat of the Eleven Year Old

A/N Short, I'm sorry. And late, I've been busy. We had too many guests at once, so I was sleeping on a loveseat, and I had a camp, and all that junk-stuff. On the plus side, I actually posted something! And I have two important notes.

Note #1: A response to Kyra's review asking how old Lara was: I don't really know. How old are Iroh and Ozai? Lara is sixteen years younger than Iroh, and fourteen years younger than Ozai. So, as immature as she acts, she's really an adult.

Note #2 **IMPORTANT!**I need to know who is guest writing what chapter. I know Sacred Fire Gem was doing chapter 3, and Wave Maker was doing eighteen. If anyone else is writing a chapter, would you please PM me and say so? I'd like to have some sort of record for this thing… Thanks a ton.

**15: Watch him curiously. When asked about it, say you don't know how he could be threatened by an eleven year old kid**

Ozai was annoyed. Lara had ruined his feast, with her tales of the poison-bearing 'mosquitoes'. He doubted there was any such thing. And now he was annoyed at her. Because of what I just said he was annoyed at her about.

And when Ozai was annoyed, heads would _roll!_

Wow, that sounded cool.

Heads would _roll!_

_Heads_ would roll!

Heads_ would_ roll!

Yes, they would. And, although it was normally quite literal, and the head of whoever had annoyed him, that was not to be. Ozai _had_ promised his father that, whatever happened, he wouldn't kill either of his siblings. Directly.

And that was a loophole that Ozai was willing to take.

But, unfortunately, there was the small matter of the tradition that no Fire Nation citizen could execute, assassinate, or otherwise kill a member of the Fire Nation royal family. Any royal person must be executed by the Fire Lord _personally_. And Ozai couldn't kill Lara directly.

So Lara would live. She would just be lectured until she thought she was dead.

"… Doubt there is any such thing, how could you possibly think that I was so stupid as to believe in 'mosquitoes'…"

Lara was annoyed. Ozai had ruined her feast with his ever-annoyed attitude. It wasn't as if she had done anything _really_ bad. And now she was annoyed at him. Because of what I just said she was annoyed at him about.

And when Lara was annoyed, people would _be_ _bugged_!

Wow, that sounded cool.

People would _be_ _bugged!_

_People _would be bugged!

People _would_ be bugged!

Does this seem familiar to you?

(If it doesn't, you either have started in the middle of the chapter, I posted this wrong, or you're in trouble.)

We now return to our original annoyance… err… broadcast.

And so Lara commenced to annoy the Fire Lord.

She opened her eyes as wide as she could make them, and stared at him. She cocked her head to one side, and raised an eyebrow. She did everything possible to make her expression the most confused and innocently curious imaginable.

And Ozai was disconcerted.

"… Terrible for our… ehh… political image… you going around… annoying people… WOULD YOU STOP DOING THAT?"

"Doing what?" Lara asked innocently.

"Giving me THAT LOOK! Just _stop it_! It's CREEPY!"

"Would you like me not to look at you, big brother?"

"_NOT LIKE THAT!"_

"Like what?"

"Like you want to _know_ something! Like you're studying me! It's scary! What are you _doing_, anyway?"

"I'm just curious," Lara replied with the innocence of a dev… angel.

"ABOUT WHAT?" Ozai practically screamed. Lara was amazed. This look was _really_ annoying her brother. She would have to remember that. And to remind him to do his yoga.

"Nothing. I just didn't realize that you could be threatened by an eleven-year-old kid."

"HE'S TWELVE! AND HE'S THE _AVATAR_, WHAT DO YOU EXPECT ME TO DO? **_STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT!"_**

"Are you _sure_ he's twelve?"

"Yes!"

"I think he's eleven."

"He's twelve!"

"Eleven."

"TWELVE!"

At that moment, Azula entered the room. "What are you two arguing about _this_ time?" she demanded in exasperation.

Lara found another opportunity. For, though her favorite pastime was bothering Ozai, she had another great joy in life.

Bothering Azula.

"Oh, we're not arguing, honey," Lara explained, in the sweetest, most patronizing voice she could possibly manage. "The grown-ups are just having a little… discussion."

To her credit, Azula _pretended_ to remain calm. Inwardly, she was probably seething, but she at least pretended not to be.

"And what's your 'discussion' about, Auntie Lara?" she asked in an innocent, childlike voice. Somehow, the princess managed to do all of that and still sound sarcastic.

"We're wondering how your father can be defeated (or almost defeated, anyway) by a child even younger than yourself."

People can only be pushed so far, and Fire Nation people, particularly royalty, could not be pushed as far as everyone else, given their tempers.

"_**LARA!"**_ Ozai and Azula screamed in unison.

Lara smiled innocently. "What?" she asked.


	16. The Puppet Show

Wow. I really interpreted this literally. And managed to get six pages of yammering about totally random things. This was… special.

Anyway, numbers 17 and 20 are still open to guest writers, and I am officially going to have a 21st chapter based off of the suggestion of one of Alaska Rae's original reviewers. I won't tell you who, although he/she has already been asked. I think. Yeah, I'm pretty sure. But I want to write the 21st, so that won't be open to guests. There are only two chapters open, so if you want to guest write, hurry. And if you don't, well, keep reading! Hope you all enjoy it.

**16: At a feast, play with your food.**

Ozai had been annoyed by Lara his whole life. Well, not his whole life. Since he was fourteen. Many, many years. And she was annoying. And he was easily annoyed.

Bad combination.

But the point was, when Lara did something annoying that ruined something he was trying to do, he knew what to do.

Wow, that was a badly-formed sentence. Sorry.

Anyway, Ozai knew what to do. He postponed the feast.

And the postponement was over.

Hehe, that's a funny word. Postponed. I know post means after, but what does 'poned' mean? Whatever.

Anyway, the feast was going to happen again.

What feast, may you ask? Well, the celebratory feast. What was it celebrating? Something very, very special.

_The Fire Nation had won_.

Not what you think, not the war or anything. No, they had done something else, but no less important. Something great, and something that would go down in history as the greatest victory ever in the Fire Nation.

_They had defeated the Avatar._

Okay, not really. They had _sort_ of beat him at something. They hadn't captured him, or any of his friends. But they had stopped enemies of the Fire Nation while he was in close proximity.

_They had destroyed the rebels._

Well, no. They hadn't destroyed anything. They had saved some Fire Nation citizens from a group of kids living in tree houses.

_They had outwitted their enemies._

Never mind that the Avatar had been the one doing the actual saving. Or maybe it was his friends… But still, they had done _something_, and it was about time that something got celebrated. So they were celebrating the fact that they hadn't lost.

_They were pathetic._

Finally, the dramatics said something that was true.

Does this sound familiar? Again, whatever.

Ozai stopped Lara before she entered the hall.

"Lara," he said. "Don't you _dare_ mess this up again."

But his haste was his undoing. Because Ozai entered the hall before making Lara promise. And so she didn't promise.

And what Lara didn't promise to do, quite often, she didn't do.

So, as she didn't promise not to mess this up again, then she didn't not mess this up again. Meaning she didn't not not didn't. Meaning she did.

Recap: Ozai made Lara promise not to mess this (the feast) up for him again, but he forgot to actually stay for the promise, so she didn't make it, and decided to mess it up, (the feast, that is, not the promise) no matter what her brother said. Did that make any more sense than the other part?

Whatever. In case you hadn't noticed by now, none of this is really making much sense, so we might as well just shut up and accept that, now mightent we? Is that a word? I don't think so. Oh, well. I can make up words when I want to, I can! It's not my fault that nothing I do or say ever makes any sense! Blame Lara! She's a bad influence on me! It's true, really!

Now that the people in white coats have finally given me access to a computer, I can continue and pretend that the above paragraph never happened. That's usually a good idea with me.

Anywho, Lara was going to mess the feast up for Ozai. Because she's Lara and that's what she does.

That day, they were serving several different meat dishes as the main course. And Lara was hungry. Hungry, yes, but not hungry enough to avoid being annoying, oh, no! Not Lara, she's as annoying as ever. Don't worry.

And the meat gave Lara a plan to outwit and annoy her older brother. Because she's Lara and that's what she does.

First, she took a knife. That may give you some ideas on how she was going to annoy Ozai, but she won't. Not that way, because this is not a violent story. Most of the time.

In fact, what she cut with the knife was a piece of meat. She cut it into a person-shaped sort of thing. Then she cut out a crown and put it on. Finally, she added a face. Somehow, the meat-person resembled Ozai quite a bit.

But Lara wasn't done. She made several other meat figures, and lined them all up on her plate.

By this time, the nice General, Vahe, and several random people had all noticed what she was doing and were staring at her in confusion. And fascination, too. Ozai, however, was busy talking to some idiots, and didn't notice, much to his later chagrin.

The nice General was once again sitting next to Lara, and currently had some meat on sticks on his plate.

"May I borrow that, please?" Lara asked, indicating the sticks. Confused, the General slipped his dinner off and gave her the object she had asked for.

"General Vahe, would you please pass the sticky-sauce?" she requested. Although _this_ man was slightly less likely to enjoy her prank, he obliged.

Lara took the meat-Ozai and put the sticky-sauce on it's back. The she placed the stick in the sauce (no pun intended) and held it there until it stuck.

This process was repeated with each of the meat-people until each of them was, essentially, stick-puppets.

Once again, however, Lara wasn't finished. It wasn't enough for her to make toys out of her food, no.

She had to play with it.

And so, Lara ducked down behind the table, taking the meat-people with her. One by one, she poked them up, created something not seen in the Fire Nation since the war started.

A puppet show.

"Hello, everyone," Lara said in a fake-deep voice. Everyone paused, and turned to look at her, or, rather, at the Ozai-puppet. She continued as if there wasn't an entire roomful of people watching her.

"My name is Puppet-Lord Ozai. How are you today?"

"Fine," said someone in the back of the room, sparking nervous giggles. The person clapped her hand over her mouth before she could say anything _else_ stupid, but Lara continued as if she hadn't.

"That's great! I am too. Would you like to meet my puppet-subjects?"

"Yes!" called a few people, laughing.

"Good. Here's my brother, Puppet-General Iroh. Say 'hello', Iroh."

A chubby, bearded puppet popped up. "Hello, everyone! Pleased to meet you."

"Hello, Puppet-General Iroh!" a few more people shouted.

"You'll also want to meet our sister, Puppet-Lady Lara," Puppet-Lord Ozai continued.

"Hello, Puppet-Lady Lara!" was the general outcry.

Another puppet arrived. "Hey, everybody!" Lara said in her own voice. "How are you today?"

A chorus of 'great' and 'good' was heard in the hall. A few servants and guards poked their heads in to see what was going on, and exited to get their friends.

"Then there's my daughter," Puppet-Lord Ozai told them, "Puppet-Princess Azula."

"Say hello to Azula!" Lara called.

"Hello, Puppet-Princess Azula!"

Real-Princess Azula just sulked.

"Hello, my friends," Puppet-Princess Azula called in a cheerful voice. "I'm so glad to see you all so well."

Real-Princess Azula sulked a little bit more.

"Puppet-Princess Azula has an older brother," Iroh informed the watchers. "Here he is!"

A fourth puppet rose from underneath the table. "Hi!" the puppet exclaimed. "I'm Puppet-Prince Zuko. Are you enjoying the show?"

"Yes!" called everyone. Well, nearly everyone, anyway.

"There are many other people in our kingdom, which we call the Puppet Nation," Puppet-Lord Ozai explained. "Would you like to meet them?"

As the audience did, several more puppet-people popped up.

"Hello, people of the Fire Nation!" called one of the puppets. "I am Puppet-General Vahe."

"Hello, Puppet-General Vahe!"

By now, however, Lara was holding the puppets in a very awkward position. Puppet-Lord Ozai was being held up by her teeth, (which made talking difficult, but she managed) Puppet-Princess Azula, Puppet-Prince Zuko and Puppet-Lady Lara were between respective fingers in her right hand and Puppet-General Vahe, Puppet-General Iroh and one other who was yet to be introduced were on her left. And they were going to be difficult to move.

Fortunately, her plight was noticed. Another funny word! Plight!

Anyway, it was noticed by the nice General, who ducked down under the table and took a few puppets for himself. Now, at least, it was manageable.

"Would you like to see a normal day in the Puppet-Nation?" Puppet-Lord Ozai asked.

"Yes!" called the group in general.

The puppet show went on for about half an hour, detailing life in the Puppet-Nation, which included random songs and dances, a bit of muffled laughter from under the table, Real-Princess Azula stalking out of the room after Puppet-Princess Azula started square-dancing with Puppet-Prince Zuko, whose real counterpart was, fortunately, not present. Otherwise, the story would be over, as a direct result of Lara's death.

But then Lara made a terrible mistake.

She started recounting the only humorous story she knew. The story of her pranks.

Now, normally, that wouldn't be a problem. But it showed some very embarrassing things done by important people in the Fire Nation. Even if they _were_ in the Puppet-Nation.

Like General Vahe following a fireball/tumbleweed. Or Ozai being afraid of furbies. Or… doing yoga.

The citizens of the Puppet Nation might know that their Puppet-Lord did yoga. But the citizens of the Fire Nation didn't. And the Fire Lord was not happy about them finding out.

So, he reacted in a typical way.

"_**LARA!"**_

Puppet-Lady Lara turned to the Fire Lord. "What?"


	17. The Attempt at Being Cute

A/N: So, the little whimper wasn't needed. We all know that Ozai is a pushover. Anyway, sorry that this one is a little bit short, but oh well. I'm sure I've written shorter. And yes, the beginning is almost all dialogue. Not my fault. Blame the chapter. Just because.

**17: Pout and give him puppy eyes when he's about to blow up at you. Add a little whimper if needed.**

"Lara, I've been patient. I've let you live. But this is going _too far_!"

"Why?"

Ozai paused a little bit. Why, exactly, _was_ this going too far? Oh, right.

"Because the people of the Fire Nation are depressed, and they…"

"Why?"

"Because we're losing to a twelve-year-old!"

"We're not losing, par se…"

"We're not winning, either. And we just won a major victory…"

"Actually, it's more like we didn't suffer a major defeat… Shutting up."

"Thank you. We just won a major victory, and because of this, we were celebrating. This is the first time in a long time that they have had anything to celebrate."

"Not technically, I mean, maybe no victories, but still… birthdays, weddings…"

"_Lara…_"

"Sorry."

"This was the first time in a long time that they've had anything to do with a Fire Nation victory to celebrate! And they were celebrating it, when you ruined it for plenty of innocent people…"

"Actually, they seemed to be enjoying it. It was you who…"

"Lara!"

"What? You just didn't like that I told them that you do yoga!"

"Well, would _you_?"

"I'm not obsessed with my image!"

"I'm the Puppet… I mean… The Fire Lord! My image is the Fire Nation's image. Do you want the Avatar to think that everyone in the Fire Nation does _yoga_?"

"Maybe you'll start a trend."

"Do you think… Aaargh! No! I don't _want_ to start a trend. If we seem weak…"

"Who ever said that yoga makes you weak?"

"It doesn't, but everyone else might not think…"

"I think it makes you more centered. If anything, doing yoga will make you more to be feared."

"Lara! That's not the _point!_"

"Why not?"

"Because! It was a feast you ruined."

"SO? You're the one who brought yoga up."

"I was not!"

"You were too!"

"Was not!"

"Were too!"

"Was not!"

"Were too!"

"Was not!"

"Were too!

"Was… LARA!"

"What did I do?"

"You're just trying to get me off-track so I won't kill you!"

"It was your fault! Any I doubt you could kill me, anyway. Wimp."

There was a pause. Wrong thing to say, Lara.

"_What… did… you… **say?"**_

"I called you a wimp. Because you are."

Ozai didn't say anything else. He simply raised a fireball on his fist, and lifted his arm to hurl it at her. Then he stopped.

Lara was sitting on the floor, with her head tilted and her lower lip out, looking like she was about to cry. Ozai didn't know that her eyes could get that big. He hadn't known that _anyone's_ eyes could get that big. It was weird. And somehow, a little bit… what was the word…

Cute.

Yes, you read right. The Fire Lord thought that something was cute.

And, as we all know, killing someone who is cute is very difficult. At least, I assume. I've never tried to kill someone I thought was cute. I've never really tried to kill anyone. Most people don't.

But that's not the point. The point is…

What is the point, again? I mean, this whole story is kind of without a point.

Okay, before I get philosophical and start going on about how nothing has a point, let's get back to the topic.

Ozai didn't want to kill Lara because she was cute. So he put down the fireball.

Well, technically, he put _out_ the fireball. If he'd put down the fireball, then…

Anyway…

He put out the fireball. But that was when Lara made her biggest mistake ever.

"Ha-ha," she laughed.

Ozai's eyes got bigger than Lara's had. But it did _not_ look cute.

"**_LARA!"_**

"What?"


	18. The FlowerCrown

A/N Our first guest writer!

**_This chapter was written by Wave Maker,_** who actually got the chapter in before I finished 17. Wow! Two more guest-written chapters to go, and chapter 20 is still open, but I want to do chapter 21 myself.

Apologies for the formatting, I can't figure out how to change it.

A/N again: Although Ozai refers to Lara as a child in this chapter, I've mentioned before that she's an adult. The reason for this is that, well, if _you_ knew someone this annoying, do you think you'd think of them as an adult? Ozai doesn't.

**18: Tell him his crown is really rather silly looking and offer to make **

**him a new one. When you give him the flower shaped piece of metal, **

**don't tell him where he old crown is so he has to wear it. **

"Brother, I know I've been very mean to you, but I'm willing to

apologize."

Lara looked up at the Fire Lord with large sad eyes. She stuck

out her lip like she had done a million times before in her life of

annoying people and would probably do a million times more.

Ozai raised his eyebrow at his sister.

"Anytime you've apologized for being... well, you, I end up paying for it." The Fire Lord stopped in thought for a moment before finishing, "That is, if you have apologized before.

Lara would have tried to think of the last time she apologized for

something, but was too excited about pulling her latest prank. You may ask

what it was that Ozai did this time to cause her to prank him, but in

truth, she just felt like being annoying. After all, as Ozai said,

that's who she was, an annoying girl. In fact, she was so annoying, 'not

annoying' wasn't even a word in her vocabulary. Well, actually, it

isn't in most peoples' vocabularies, as it's two words. Okay, it isn't

even two words in her vocabulary, but, ugh, whatever, I'm getting back to

the story.

Anyway, she decided to forget looking for the last time, if it existed,

and work on this time. "Well, I'm apologizing now, and I mean it," she

lied, praying to Agni that he wouldn't notice. "Please forgive me,"

she continued, "I'll do something nice for you or something." Lara took

a few steps closer to the throne in order to give her brother a

hopefully convincing hug.

Instincts caused him to flinch away from her. Lara used this to get to

part two of the plan, Operation: Take The Crown. Forcing a few

crocodile tears, though she had no idea what a crocodile was, and letting her

voice waver with 'sadness,' she spoke softly and sadly, "I'm sorry you

don't believe me, brother. I'll just leave then." She then did a very

convincing upset-turn and ran to the exit.

Ozai fell for it and immediately called her back, "No, no, Lara. It is

I who am sorry. Come here, please." The mastermind let out a small

but oh-so-evil smile before turning it to a nice one and running back to

hug Ozai.

'After all, she is just a child,' the Fire Lord thought. What he

didn't know, but should have learned by now, was that, yes, Lara was just a

child. No, Lara was not the innocent child she was pretending to be.

In fact, she was a brilliant but evil demon child whose sole purpose in

life was to annoy the poor (well, very rich, but you get what I mean)

Fire Lord until his mind snapped like a dry and brittle twig, but that's

why we all love her!

"So you'll let me do something nice for you?" Lara asked after she had

stopped hugging her brother.

"What is it?" Ozai asked suspiciously.

"Well, I've been thinking," Lara began, her tone of voice secretly

telling him, 'Danger, Fire Lord Ozai, Danger!' The connection to "Lost In

Space" wouldn't be thought of until the show was invented.

"What?"

"Well, about that crown of yours..." Lara trailed off again, pointing

to the flame shaped piece of gold in his hair as she waited for him to

react.

"What about my crown!" Ozai asked in an offended tone.

"Well, I, and many others too, think that it is really rather silly

looking," Lara finished.

"Excuse me?"

"It is! Flames are so goth, and you are not a goth! In fact, I'd say

you're more of a prep, but that's another story. It's just that many

people find it silly for people to pretend to be something they're not!"

"Lara, the flame stands for power and strength, not whatever this goth

is," Ozai explained, closing his eyes and counting to ten to keep his

emotions under control. Couldn't go burning his sister so that she

resembled a large fire flake, now could he. So he started counting,

'_1...2...3..._'

"But you would look so much more stylish with a new one. Which is

why-" _'4...5...6...'_

"Lara, you are NOT going to make me a new-" _'7...8...9...'_

"I'm sure you'll love it!" Lara called happily from the door. _10?_

Ozai snapped his eyes open, forgetting the counting as he noticed the

crown clutched in the girl's hands.

"Lara, give me that back, now!" He yelled at her, but she ignored him

and ran through the door. He quickly stood and followed her, but by

the time he got to the hallway, she was gone.

Ozai let out an angry sigh before turning back into the throne room,

muttering a, 'Why me?' while praying no one came in to see him without

his crown.

* * *

Lara stood outside the door to the throne room, preparing for part 

three of her brilliant plan: Operation: Give Ozai His New Crown... okay, so

the plan-namer is on vacation. You try thinking up a good name when

you've wasted your creativity thinking up such a great and perfect plan!

Well, Lara actually thought up the plan but- oh shut up!

ANYWAY, back to the story. Lara took a deep breath, made sure the

crown was in the small bag she had hanging from her shoulder, put on a fake

smile that she swore would stick to her face if she continued to use it

all the time, and knocked on the door.

"Who is it!" Ozai asked, though he hadn't opened the door.

"Open up, brother!" Lara called through the rectangular piece of metal.

Why I didn't just say 'door' no one shall know.

Ozai flung the door open, a very upset look on his face. Well, upset

if 'upset' means ready to kill and then barbecue the remains before

feeding them to the peasants. "Give me my crown now, Lara!"

"Well, if you're going to be rude about it-" Ozai cut Lara off by

creating a ball of fire in his right hand. Lara understood this as, 'Say

one more word without me first having my crown and I'll discard the 'No

fire flake sister' thought.' Lara wasn't stupid, but she was a button

pusher, so she did what she does best and pushed his buttons.

"Now brother, we wouldn't want a fire in here!" A smile played happily

across her lips.

"Crown. Now." Ozai was able to say through gritted teeth.

"Fine, brother, fine. You win," Lara said and reached a hand into her

bag. She fumbled through a few objects in it before producing a small

red, black and pink box. She placed it in his hands, and then began to

back up. "I hope you like it!" She managed to say before fast-walking

through the door. She made it to a few feet away from the end of the

hallway before stopping. She didn't want to escape him, not yet. She

still had to set part 4 in to action, Operation: Make Sure Ozai Wears

His Crown. So the plan-namer is really enjoying his vacation! It's not

my fault he won't answer his cell phone!

As Lara expected, not even half a minute later, Ozai walked angrily

through the doors, and upon spotting her, his face twisted into a worse

picture than it was. Yes, I know everyone thought it impossible, but he

did.

"Lara, how do you expect me to wear THIS?" Ozai, after finally reaching

the girl, asked her, shoving the makeshift crown forwards as if

touching it might make him ill.

Lara looked at the handmade crown. It was made of colorful wire.

Bright neon pink was the color of the top of the crown, which was in the

shape of a flower, and the bottom was a green, complete with leaves. She

carefully took it in his hands, inspected it carefully, and then put it

back in his palm. "I see nothing wrong with it," Lara announced

dramatically.

Ozai ignored her drama-queeness and snapped back, "It's a

FLOWER!"

"Yes, I know," Lara told him.

"Lara, flowers are not made to be symbols for the Fire Nation. They

are not strong, or powerful, and they do not strike fear into the hearts

of many!"

"Neither did your old crown, but you wore that," Lara pointed out.

"Yes it did, it showed that-"

"Most of the Fire Nation is pathetic?" Lara suggested, cutting him off.

"Ye- No! Where did you get a stupid idea like that?" Ozai asked.

"This little voice from the ceiling. It said it before the feast the

other day. Actually, it said all the Fire Nation was pathetic, but I

don't think I'm pathetic, same with my other brother and my nephew, even

if they technically aren't Fire Nation citizens," Lara said, a clearly

crazy smile on her face. She was right though, she wasn't pathetic.

"Thank you," Lara told the voice.

The voice then continued, _'About Iroh and Zuko though...' _

"Hey! That's not nice!" Lara suddenly yelled at the ceiling.

'_I'm not nice. The other voices may be, but I ain't,'_ the voice said.

Lara smirked. "You 'ain't' got good grammar either, but that doesn't stop you

from trying, right?"

'_I can say ain't if I want and I can be mean to Scar Face and Tea Bag if I want.'_

"Fine, be that way!"

'_I will! Oh, and your niece is cool!'_

"Oh, now you've just crossed the line, mister!"

'_I'm a girl!' _

"Never would have known by the way you act!"

'_Oh, and you act better?' _

"Yes, I do," Lara shouted at the ceiling. She crossed her arms and

waited in silence while her brother tried to think of a mental doctor in

the Fire Nation Palace that Lara could be taken to.

'_How bout a truce so we can get back to your prank?'_ The voice suddenly

suggested. Lara smiled and agreed,

"Sounds good to me!" Amazing how two annoying people, well, one annoying person and one annoying roof can become friends, enemies and then friends again within a minute.

"I know! It's weird!" Lara said happily.

Ozai rubbed his temple with his free hand. Great... not only was his

sister annoying and a crown thief, but she was also insane and hearing

voices.

"Look, this voice is not the point," the Fire Lord said, trying

his best to get back on subject before he was infected with insanity,

too. "Just hand over my crown, please."

"That is your crown." Lara pointed to the wire crown. Ozai looked at

the piece of pathetic wire in his hand. He then got an idea.

Lara gasped as Ozai suddenly let flame to the hand he was holding the

crown in. She watched as it slowly melted into nothingness.

Lara, after acting shocked and hurt by his action, finally let out, "How could you,

brother! I spent a lot of time on that!"

"Now, you must give me my real crown," Ozai said, after the flame had

died and he had dumped what had been left of the crown onto the floor.

He wiped his hand on the other and then put it back out, waiting for

his crown.

"How did you find out, brother!" Lara asked, surprise filling her

voice.

"Find out about what?" Ozai asked.

"The second crown I made you!" Lara said, and pulled out a replica of

the first flower-crown. She placed it in his hand and then spoke

before he could make another move, "Now before you burn it, you must realize

that without a crown, no one will recognize you as you."

"That is ridiculous, my subjects know m- Lara, get back here!" Ozai

yelled after her as Lara ran to the intersection and then turned right.

Ozai silently cursed to himself and then ran after her, only to run into

a short, but pretty strong looking man.

"Out of my way!" Ozai yelled at him.

"And what authority do you have to tell me that?" The man asked

bitterly.

"Excuse me! Do you know who you are talking to?" Ozai asked, ready to

light the man on fire. THAT wasn't against the law.

"Yeah," the man said, "I'm talking to the guy who just ran into me and

is gonna pay for it! That's who!"

Ozai was utterly shocked. No way could Lara have been right. Everyone knew who he was. He would prove it!

"No!" Ozai barked, "You are talking to the great Fire Lord Ozai!"

"Yeah, right! You don't even have a crown. Try telling a more

believable story!" The man let out a loud laugh to prove that he didn't

believe him.

Ozai was stunned. Lara was right. Unless... there was only

one way to prove it. He pulled the flower shaped crown from his hand

and, with much will power, placed it in his hair.

"Oh, hello there, Fire Lord Ozai! When did you get here? Did you see

a man around here, about your height, looked a lot like you? He bumped

into me and didn't apologize," the man said, suddenly recognizing Ozai.

He then recognized something else, and he pointed at it. "Um... Fire

Lord, may I ask-"

"Is there something wrong with my crown?" Ozai asked, a very evil look

on his face.

The other man quickly backed down, and, stuttering, said,

"No, n-not at all!" Ozai nodded angrily and quickly walked past the

guy to find Lara.

Said girl had actually been hiding around the next turn, listening to

the whole thing. She quietly snickered, happy that this part had worked

out. She hadn't planned him to show, she was just lucky like that.

She knew there had to be someone he would run into Pzai and act like an

idiot. After all, the voice was right; most of the Fire Nation was

pathetic. And also idiotic; after all, they followed Ozai instead of Lara.

'Exactly,' Lara thought with a smile before running off to finish her

plan.

* * *

Ozai ran down the halls. He knew he had to find Lara fast. He 

couldn't go even five more minutes wearing this flower shaped piece of metal,

but if he wanted people to listen to him, he had to. He was just about

to turn a corner when he heard, "Lara! Get back here now!"

He stopped to see Lara run right in front of him, stop for a moment to realize it

was him, and then take off in the direction she was going, but twice as

fast. Azula suddenly ran after her. She stopped like Lara, to look at

Ozai.

"May I ask why you are wearing that silly crown, father?" Azula asked.

She knew that Lara had taken her father's crown, in fact, that's why

she was following her. She'd never become Fire Lady if her bratty aunt

had the soon-to-be hers crown, and we can't have that, now can we?

What she had failed to find out was the part about the flower-shaped

replacement, so obviously, she asked about it. Contrary to the belief of

the Azula-haters, Azula did have a brain. (Random Azula-Hater: She

just doesn't use it much.) Ozai opened his mouth to answer, but Azula cut

him off. "Let me guess, father. The same girl who just ran into the

room with the incinerator with m-your crown?"

Ozai's eyes snapped to the entrance of the room, which happened to have

just closed. The father and daughter didn't have to say a word to know

they had to get there quickly.

* * *

Lara smiled evilly as she pulled out the last part of the plan, a 

replica of the crown her father used to wear. No, she wouldn't burn the

real one. Like I said before, Lara pushed buttons, but she wasn't stupid.

She knew burning the real crown was stupid, but a fake crown would push

his buttons, and Azula there to witness it would be an added bonus.

Her final part of the plan would be perfect and Operation: Burn the

"Crown"(He's still not answering his phone) would be her best prank yet.

Well, maybe there was that one prank- or that other one- okay, this would

at least be in the top three.

Lara took her spot a few feet away from the incinerator. Why the Fire

Nation had an incinerator when they could simply just burn things using

firebending, she did not know. She did know that this would just add

to the effects. She waited, and within a few seconds, Ozai and Azula

burst through the door.

"Stop!" The two yelled. Lara took a few steps forwards, ready to throw

the fake into the fire. She didn't expect Azula to jump between her

and the flames and grab the crown in one last effort to save it.

"Don't you dare throw it in there, you little pest!" Azula yelled,

tugging on the crown. She had to make sure she didn't tug too hard and

send herself back into the fire. That would be bad.

"Don't YOU dare talk to your aunt that way!" Lara shouted back, pulling

the crown back on her side as if it were a rope in a game of

tug-of-war. She had to make sure she didn't pull too hard and fall back into

Ozai. THAT would be VERY bad, though he seemed to not be very hostile,

standing there near the door, unsure of what to do. Lara laughed inside.

It seemed that without his crown he was dumber than his usual stupidity.

"You don't deserve to be a part of this family! True royalty of the Fire Nation would NEVER try to burn the crown!" Azula said Lara.

"I'm just trying to help my brother become more stylish!" Lara defended.

"You want to help? Let go!"

Lara smirked on the inside. 'What a marvelous idea, Azula,' she felt like saying, but instead, just said, "Okay!" and let got of the object.

Azula, not expecting this one bit, went tumbling backwards. She, panicked by her sudden fall towards the large flames that could horribly burn her before she even had a chance to firebend, let go of the crown in order to try and use her hands to make sure she fell on ground, not fire. The crown went soaring through the air and into the flame as both Azula and Ozai yelled, "NO!"

Lara's evil smile grew wider than ever. Her hands reached her ears just in time to protect them from the two screams past experiences told her were coming.

"**_LARA!"_**

Lara smiled even larger, if that were possible. Yep, definitely in the top three.

"What?"


	19. The End Or What Lara Thinks of it

_**WARNING: MAJOR SPOILERS FOR THE SEIGE OF THE NORTH! BOTH PARTS!**_

A/N Yes, I know I said this chapter would be at the end, and that's what the title is, but it's not. Also, as to the part in the letter mentioning Zuko, I know that it never showed anyone from the Fire Nations seeing him, but someone had to. Here's my reasoning: After Zuko was apparently killed by the pirates, someone had to have informed Ozai. I mean, he is the guy's father. Anyway after that, Ozai and Azula both refer to Zuko as if he was alive. So I think that someone saw him at the North Pole, otherwise, Azula wouldn't be after him at all.

If anyone knows how to spell the name of the Fire Lord who started the war (comet is named after him) than that would be much appreciated.

This takes place several weeks after the last chapter.

**3: When he gets a letter saying Zhao is dead, pat his shoulder soothingly saying you understand and it'll all work out in the end…then add 'for Aang that is.'**

_Dear Fire Lord Ozai,_

_We regret to inform you that, the attack on the Northern Water Tribe, lead by Admiral Zhao and your esteemed brother General Iroh, was not successful. _

_The Admiral attempted to put out the moon, but was stopped by the Avatar, his friends, and General Iroh, who, apparently, has become a traitor. Somehow, the Avatar restored the moon and turned into a giant spirit-monster, unleashing his wrath upon our fleet._

_The fleet was all but destroyed, and Admiral Zhao was killed by the Avatar. General Iroh escaped with Prince Zuko, who appears to have survived the pirate attack and ended up at the North Pole. _

_Respectfully,_

_The Fire Navy._

"You may go," Ozai ordered the messenger who had brought the message. The man was eager to obey. After all, who wants to stick around with the Fire Lord after he's received a message bearing that much bad news.

Obviously, Lara did.

"Well, big brother," she commented from her corner as the messenger exited, "Looks like your Flame-Heads have messed up. Again."

Flame-Heads was Lara's special nickname for the Fire Navy. She said that they had no more brains that a flame did. Considering their failure to capture the Avatar, Ozai was not exactly inclined to disagree with her.

But he wasn't about it admit it.

"Were you even listening?" he demanded, waving the letter in her face. "Your brother is a traitor to the Fire Nation."

Lara was upset about that, of course, but she just raised one eyebrow as if she wasn't. "Last I checked, oh Fire Lord, he was your brother, too."

"You're the one who likes him," Ozai retorted.

"And you're the one who assigned Zhao to lead this attack. And Zhao was the one who brought Iroh into it."

"That doesn't make him not a traitor," snapped the Fire Lord.

"Now, brother," Lara admonished, "Where are your family values?"

Ozai just glared at her.

"Ah, of course. You lost them." She jumped up onto the table by his throne. "I'll organize a search party!"

The table crashed to the ground. Lara just sat there and continued talking as if it hadn't.

"Get the whole Fire Nation out there! Forget the Avatar, this is more important. The Fire Lord has lost…"

"Lara!"

She hopped up and sat on the arm of his throne. "Oh, sorry, if you don't want me to talk about it…"

"Lara, just be quite for a moment," snapped Ozai, glaring at the letter again.

Lara reread the letter over his shoulder. "I wonder what Iroh was thinking," she mused.

"Does it matter?" demanded her brother.

She shrugged. "I don't think so. But I still just want to know."

"Why?" asked Ozai. No rhyme intended.

"Because I want to know. Don't you?"

"Not really," the Fire Lord replied. "I make it my business not to care about what traitors are thinking."

"Even when he's your brother?"

"Especially when he's my brother. Then he's a traitor to the family, as well as the Fire Nation."

"I suppose so," sighed Lara. She still missed her oldest brother, but she wasn't about to tell _Ozai_ that.

"You might want to organize that search party for Iroh instead," he finished.

Lara twisted her head.

"You're upset," she informed Ozai.

"No I'm not," retorted her brother.

"Yes you are. You're upset because you lost the North Pole."

"I am not upset. A Fire Lord doesn't _get_ upset. A Fire Lord gets angry."

"So you're angry that you lost the North Pole?"

"Yes."

"And you're angry that Zhao is dead?"

"Yes."

"That's too bad," Lara commented. She patted Ozai on the shoulder.

"Don't worry big brother. It's gonna be fine."

"Wow, Lara," replied the Fire Lord. "I didn't know you were capable of caring about Zhao."

"Yeah, it'll all work out in the end," continued Lara, ignoring him. "For the Avatar, that is."

Ozai carefully avoided sounding angry. That would just get his sister to be even more annoying, if that was possible.

"Lara, you do realize that saying that is bordering on treason."

"Nah, you wouldn't want two family members to be declared traitors on the same day."

"Lara…"

"Besides, it's true."

"_Lara…"_

"You know it is, big brother. In the end, the Avatar wins, and you lose. Badly."

"Lara!"

"Like the time you lost that one game you used to play. Who'd you lose to? Zuko?"

"**_LARA!"_**

Lara grinned evilly. "What?"


	20. The Sleeping Powder

Hello, one and all! Now that I have received chapter 19, I can post chapter 20, which I had gotten earlier, and chapter 21, which I had written. So, this story should be over today! Look out for my next story, the second in the _Mary-Sues of All Kinds _sequence.

This chapter was written by Godsspiker. I hope I spelled your name right… Anyway, yeah, another guest writer! Hope you enjoy it.

**19: Slip some sleeping powder into his food before a grand feast. Be sure to leave obvious clues that it was you so the cooks don't get blamed.**

Lara didn't really like these big social-gathering-designed-to-remind-the-populace-who-their-leader-was-and-to-improve-confidence-in-the-governing-body/useless-waste-of-time/fun/parties, as mentioned earlier. She found them almost as annoying as her brother

thought of her. Lara yawned at the table, opening one eye to peek at the Fire Lord, who was watching her and not letting her out of his sight.

Now before, when she had, according to her brother Ozai, bordered treason, Ozai had made her visit the jail cells to show her what happened to criminals. Lara wasn't a criminal. Or so she didn't think she was. She wondered if taking the royal physician's sleeping powder was labeled as criminal. Most criminals stole and kept what they were taking, like that one time some random thief came in to steal her favorite gold comb

and she caught him. That was criminal! And it annoyed Lara. And in annoying Lara, it caused her to think of Fire Lord Ozai . And since Ozai reminded her of the annoying criminal by sending her to the annoying cells where annoying convicts ask rather annoyingly to show mercy, and let them out so they can annoy the rest of the world again by annoyingly stealing more stuff, she decided she would annoy Ozai once more.

Lara raised her hand at the table. Ozai had decided she had to raise her hand from now on before she could speak. Her brother glanced at her, but then ignored her. Lara wiggled her hand. No dice. Lara waved her hand. Nothing. Lara now waved her arm and crossed her legs, trying to hold back a whimper. This time it caught the two generals beside her(seeing as she had whacked them in the head) and her brother. He finally

sighed.

"Yes Lara?" The Fire Lord drawled.

"I have to pee-pee!" Lara squeaked. The Fire Lord blinked, trying to find some way of saying no, but Lara made it look like she had to potty really, really bad.

"Fine, you may use the restroom. But you only have a few minutes, or my guards will come in and drag you out." He answered. This statement annoyed Lara even more.

Lara quickly hurried to the kitchen, an evil gleam in her eyes. As soon as she was finished "pottying", Lara skipped back to the table with a broad smile on her face. This caused the Fire Lord to eye Lara suspiciously. The food was brought out a few minutes later. It was lavishly prepared, and on Ozai's soup was a lovely extra seasoning of fine

white garlic, according to the cook.

"Wow, this looks really good, don't you think, brother?" Ozai hardly even noted Lara's hand sneak up to her face to hide a smile as her big brother took a big mouthful of the garlic powdered soup. He washed it around in his mouth, not tasting garlic, even though the soup seemed to be loaded with it. He took another bite of soup, then another, slurping it down until it was gone. The next two courses had a bit of garlic powder on them, and by the time course three was served, the Fire Lord looked a little sleepy. Ozai was about to take another hazy bite when he heard something that made him go cold.

Lara giggled.

He shot a look in her direction, making her giggle grow to a chuckle. She cleared her throat as soon as she noticed him staring at her with half opened eyes.

"What's the matter brother? Are you tired already?" she asked innocently.

"A little bit." Ozai growled, trying not to blink tiredly.

"So am I. I'll retire now, thank you brother." She said. This time, Lara let a malicious look in her eye. The last serving was one more bowl of a cold sweet cream. Ozai could hardly keep his eyes open. It's too early to be so tired. Ozai took a mouthful of the creamy substance, then spat it back out in surprise. In his mouth, was a long piece of hair. One that looked rather familiar. He suddenly remembered all the powdery substances on his food and realized his mistake.

_"I have to pee-pee!"_

Oh great. he thought. Ozai would've yelled his trademark, **_"LARA_**!", however, the Fire Lord had fallen asleep in his cold cream.

So instead, Azula, who had noticed Lara's malicious intent, said it for him.

"**_LARA!_**"

Lara sneaked a peek around the door, the mischievous smile replaced with another one of her famous innocent looks.

"What?"


	21. The Ghost

This chapter was guest written by blackpelt. This is the last, except for the epilogue, which I already have written. And yes, before you say anything about the line of Xs, I know how to add a little line, but my computer's being stupid and won't let me. So there.

Hope you like it! Drop a review and all that!

**20: Talk to thin air before he comes around the corner. Say you're ****talking to Sozin and he never wanted the war to begin with and is ****disgraced that Iroh didn't take the throne instead.**

Lara lay on her bed in her room. Obviously, her bed was in her room because it would be uncomfortable sleeping in the hallway. It'd be uncomfortable because every smart person in the Fire Nation knows that the Fire Lord sleepwalks. He passed it down to Zuko. So sometimes Zuko creeps out his crew when he starts shouting out orders in the middle of the night (he wakes up when he sleepwalks, and thinks it's morning). Oh great. I'm rambling again.

Anywho, Lara lay on her bed in her room which would be uncomfortable out in the hall. Because Ozai sleepwalks. "I need a plan," she thought aloud, "A great plan. An evil plan. An annoying plan!" Well, the last one was granted, but Lara liked talking out loud. It made her sound. . . crazy. Lara liked crazy. Because she was crazy. But oddly, no one knew.

That was sarcasm if anyone couldn't tell.

No, I don't know what sarcasm is. Go away! Stop bugging me!

And suddenly, Lara was struck by lightning! Not really, stupid. She was hit by a fabulous idea! She looked up and said to the lightbulb floating above her head, "Hello! Where did you come from?"

"Oh, don't mind me, I'm just here for exaggeration."

Lara grinned, and walked out the door of her room which her bed was in because it would be uncomfortable to sleep outside because Ozai sleepwalked.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Lara ran through a main hallway, and peeked around a corner. Luck was on her side that day. Ozai was coming down, giving her about twenty seconds. She raced up to the middle of the corridor and began muttering to thin air. As Ozai rounded the corner, he spotted her.

"I'm armed, Lara. Don't try anything."

Lara looked directly past him, and giggled. "What's so funny!" Ozai exclaimed. "I don't see anything wrong with the situation!" By this time, Lara was plain out laughing. "WHAT!" He shouted loud enough for Zuko to hear.

"That was hilarious!" she laughed. "Do it again!" Ozai looked at her, and flipped through his phone book, looking for a psychiatrist for his younger sister.

"Lara, what are you doing?" he asked after he couldn't find any doctors. Lara was grinning.

"I'm talking to Sozin." She put on an expression that said, 'DUH'.

"Lara, I don't mean to break your heart or anything, but um, HE'S DEAD!"

"What was that Sozin?" She paused for a couple seconds. "Oh, I completely and totally agree with you. He would've been better." Ozai looked around, confused.

"What are you talking about?"

Lara giggled, and told him cheerily, "Well, we were discussing Sozin's feelings. He is ashamed at you. You disgraced him by taking the throne. Iroh would have been so much better." Ozai's eyes bulged out of his head, and she continued innocently, "We both think the war is a pointless waste of money, and you should totally stop it. Did I mention that Sozin cursed you?" She smiled sweetly.

Ozai knew what she was doing by now.

**_"LARA!"_**

"What?"


	22. The Living Lara Who Annoys Ozai

And so it ends. Wow, that was about as dramatic as the disembodied voice. Sorry.

Anyway, thanks to Star Wars nut for suggesting this in a review to Alaska Angel. I don't own the idea for this chapter any more than I did the others.

Also, The List that the servant reads is a combination of all of the ways, which basically adds up to Alaska Angel's original story. So, I must tell you that I don't own that, sadly. The only change I made was to put it in past tense, so that it would make more sense. I don't own the past tense, either.

Hope you liked it. Drop a review to me or Alaska Angel if you did!

**Epilogue: Still be alive after you've done all this. **

Ozai was in a bad mood. A very bad mood. And Lara wanted to know why. As you might have guessed, that's not a good combination.

Lara had gotten him to answer all of her yes or no questions, and was proceeding to guess why he was in a bad mood. Never mind how she did that. Something to do with a few Generals finding out about an odd little toy called a Furby…

"Does it have to do with a person?" asked Lara.

"Yes," admitted Ozai.

"Is it the Avatar?"

"No."

"Is it Zuko?"

"No."

"Is it someone in the Fire Nation?"

"Yes."

"Is it someone in the family?"

"Yes."

Lara considered this for a moment. Contrary to popular belief, she wasn't stupid. She just did stupid things quite often. But she wasn't stupid.

Here are the facts of the situation.

Ozai was in a bad mood.

It had to do with someone in his family.

His family consisted of:

-Zuko (who was considered a disgrace)

-Iroh (who was considered a traitor)

-Azula (who -was considered none of these things) and

-Lara (who was considered annoying).

Iroh, Zuko, and Azula were all gone off somewhere.

Only Lara was in the area.

Lara was annoying.

Ozai was easily annoyed by Lara.

Lara knew what these facts all put together meant. It meant that Ozai was in a bad mood because of her. But she wasn't about to admit that she knew that, because that would be admitting that she wasn't stupid. And that was that!

Sorry.

"Is it a direct descendant of yours?"

"No."

"Is it someone who is dead?"

"No."

"Is it someone who is alive?"

"No."

"Ozai, remember the Furby."

"Yes."

"Is it Iroh?"

"No."

"Is it yourself?"

"No."

"Is it… possibly… me? Sweet, un-annoying, innocent, lovable, kind, charming, cute, childlike, delightful little me?"

"Yes."

Lara gave him her best puppy-dog face. Well, it wasn't a very good puppy-dog. Lara looked quite a bit like Azula, but with less makeup, and less ruthless. Not cute.

"Why, Ozai? Why ever would you be in a bad mood because of me?"

Ozai turned to glare at his little sister.

"Lara, in the past three years, you have done quite a few annoying things. So many that I can't even _list_ them!"

"Try, Ozai," pleaded Lara. "I want to know what I did wrong. Just list the top twenty annoying things I've done in three years. It can't be that hard. How many can there be?"

The Fire Lord's glare deepened. "An uncountable number. But do you really want to hear the top twenty?"

"Yes."

"Alright then. Here it goes." Ozai then called in a random servant.

"Read my sister The List!" he ordered dramatically

The servant cleared his throat and began to read.

**1: Told him he's being a bad boy and is on time out. Didn't let him off the chair.**

**2: Asked him when he was going to reveal the scar Zuko gave him during the Agni Kai. Gasped dramatically when people said they didn't know what you were talking about.**

**3: When he got a letter saying Zhao was dead, patted his shoulder soothingly saying you understood and it would all work out in the end…then added 'for Aang that is.' Possible treason?**

**4: When you walked into the War Room, you looked around with tears in your eyes. When someone asked what was wrong, said 'nothing, it's just so stinking hot in here and it's really heightening the aromas.'**

**5: Gave him a Furby for his birthday. Snickered when it talks and scares him. Looked innocent when he glares at you. **

**6: Snuck up next to him and cracked your knuckles right in his ear. Hid behind Azula when he came after you.**

**7: Laughed maniacally whenever the Generals in the War Room thought of another plot. Said that Iroh was better then all of them and you didn't understand how they could have possibly let him go. **

**8: Started singing 'The Song That Never Ends' whenever there was a small pause in the meetings.**

**9: Mixed gas and water and dumped it over his head. When he was about to flame up, said that if he did, he would explode.**

**10: Casually explained that his son was going to marry a Water Bender. Said he couldn't do anything about it since he banished him.**

**11: Asked him when was the last time he took a bath.**

**12: Knocked on his door late at night. Ran away before he opens it.**

**13: Encouraged him to take a yoga class. Didn't tell him what it is until he was already there.**

**14: Whacked him at random intervals and yelled 'mosquito'…very loudly. When asked what they are, just smiled and said they carry deadly poisons. Then looked at a General and said that there was one on his arm. **

**15: Watched him curiously. When asked about it, said you didn't know how he could be threatened by an eleven year old kid. **

**16: At a feast, played with your food.**

**17: Pouted and gave him puppy eyes when he was about to blow up at you. **

**18: Told him his crown was really rather silly looking and offered to make him a new one. When you gave him the flower shaped piece of metal, you didn't tell him where he old crown is so he had to wear it.**

**19: Slipped some sleeping powder into his food before a grand feast. Left obvious clues that it was you so the cooks didn't get blamed.**

**20: Talked to thin air before he came around the corner. Said you were talking to Sozin and he never wanted the war to begin with and was disgraced that Iroh didn't take the throne instead.**

Lara considered that for a moment.

"So you're still annoyed by all of those things? Even though some of them I did over three years ago?"

Ozai glared at her. "No. That's not what annoys me. What annoys me is number twenty-one."

"But there _is_ no number twenty-one!" exclaimed Lara.

That's when the servant broke in. "Actually, there is one that was never recorded."

"Read it," commanded Ozai.

"But, Fire Lord, it was never written down!" protested the servant.

"Then recite it!" he growled.

"Yes sir," the servant agreed, bowing.

"**Still are alive after you've done all this"**

Lara stared at her brother. "So… you're annoyed at me because… I'm alive?"

Ozai nodded. "Yes. Because you're my sister, I can't kill you. For several reasons, none of which I'm going to bother going over. But if anyone else had attempted even _one_ thing off of that list, they would be nothing but a small pile of ashes, and a testimony of why nobody crosses the Fire Lord."

Lara was stunned. Because she had just realized something. If she was annoying simply by being alive, than every moment of her life, waking or sleeping, whether she tried or not, she would be annoying someone. She would continue to annoy throughout her entire life. Until she was dead, there would be no respite for Ozai.

"I'm that annoying?" she asked.

"You're the most annoying person I've ever met!" exclaimed the Fire Lord. Then he stopped, because he had noticed something very surprising.

Lara was crying.

"Oh, come on," he said. "I…"

Then, to his surprise, Lara suddenly hugged him. "That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me!" she sobbed. "Thank you so much!"

"Uh… You're welcome…" muttered Ozai, shaking his sister off.

He started to stand, but was stopped by a noise that sounded suspiciously like paper rustling on his back.

Reaching over his shoulder and grabbing the offending object, the Fire Lord drew it into his sightline. It was a small piece of parchment with writing on it. 'Kick me', read the parchment.

It was probably around that point that Ozai realized something. Just because she was annoying simply by being alive, didn't mean Lara wasn't going to be annoying for other reasons, too. She would be annoying him forever.

But that was all you really could expect from someone like Lara of the Fire Nation.

Not to say that Ozai was going to accept that calmly, of course.

"_**LARA!"**_

Lara smiled. "What?"


End file.
